Oasis Haven

Health - Facial Care

2012-01-17T10:20:00.006+08:00

I had bad acne issues when I was 14-19 years old. It decreased my self-confidence a lot.

I will share some facial care tips which I adopted and found effective.

I use Neutrogena Deep Clean Foaming Cleanser. I feel it thoroughly washes my face and leaves a clean and refreshing feeling. There are many brands and types of facial wash and different people react differently to them. You should try reputable brands such as Shokubutsu and Garnier until you find one suitable for yourself.

[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v343/Taplier/blog/netrogena.jpg[/IMG]

Instead of washing my face with facial wash at night before sleep, I wash it after I shower as the pores are enlarged slightly. I also wash with water in the morning and before sleep.

In the past I used a handkerchief to wipe perspiration and towel to dry my face after washing. I realised it was unhygienic and switched to tissues.

Basic good habits such as sleeping early and adequately, drinking plenty of water and exercising will help improve your skin condition gradually but surely.

2012-01-04T11:12:00.000+08:00

On 26 Feb 2011 at about 7pm, I cut my left thumb while washing a bowl. I knew it needed stitches and told myself to be brave. At CGH, when they were removing the bandage, it was so painful I immediately burst into tears. Under the hands of a foreign doctor, I received 10 stitches.

Until today, the thumb is weak and feels numb. The culprit bowl was a free one packaged with Brand's Chicken Essence bought years ago. I blame my mom, being her stingy and thrifty self, used the bowl for so long and did not replace it. She was worried, but she never said sorry.

2011-11-11T13:37:00.003+08:00

Back in primary 6 when I was 12, I received my first mobile phone Nokia 8210 and mobile number. Mobile phones were uncommon back then, regular phones were about $200-$400 and phone plans were about $10-15/month.

Following, I switched to Sony Ericsson, back to Nokia and to Sony Ericsson again. Each phone lasted about 2 years each. I lost the last Sony Ericsson in poly year 2 or 3, it still had a trade-in value of $50. Fortunately, no contacts were lost as I always saved my contacts in Excel. My elder sister gave me her Sony Ericsson after she bought a new phone.

During NS, I decided to buy an iPhone after I posted out. I paid $0 on the spot because I had $200 discount for switching from Singtel to Starhub and $50 for being NSF. $60/month for tier 2 plan was reduced to $45/month thanks to 25% hub club discount.

Previously, my sisters chose and paid for my phone. This time, I chose and have been paying my phone bill myself since.

2009-12-27T16:19:00.004+08:00

Had Popeye for lunch after topping up fuel and washing Dong Fong. Right after, the sky turned dark quickly and I knew it was gonna rain.

It was raining heavily when I went to pick Jasper up. After collecting the food, we went to Sheng Siong to buy drinks and pick Deng Kai up. While waiting, I felt Dong Fong jerk and went out to see. A van had hit it at the back. After ascertaining that there was no obvious damage, I moved Dong Fong to let him reverse out.

The GPS brought us to Xin Ying's condo successfully. I followed her upstairs to put the almond and glanced around her place. The living room and kitchen are small, but there are 5 rooms and a dining area.

Everyone eventually arrived (predictably late) by about 6.15. Our ex form teacher Mdm Pang arrived at about 7.30 with a dozen packets of drinks.

I spent most of the night cooking food. There was quite a spread - satay, chicken wings, chicken chop, sotong, stingray, corn, otah, hotdogs, marshmellows.

Chatted a little with everyone here and there and revealed that I'm in police. The guys sat in the gazebo while the girls sat outside with their own table.

Mdm Pang brought along a book containing our biographies, none of us remember having done it. I was embarrassed when they flipped to my page. Everyone else used colour pens/markers and pasted stickers, while mine.. was printed black text without any colour or pictures.. That's how straight I was, or maybe still am to a certain extent.

Near 10, we took some group photos and then crowded together in a circle to reminisce the past, each of us were to remember something. I mentioned that I fell into the drain in pri 4. When it was Mdm Pang's turn, she said that she remembered scolding me at the last staircase. The fact that she remembers, shows that it had left an impact on her, it had left an impact on me too.

We laughed at all the silly things we had done, or rather they had done. There were some awkward moments of silence but Yen Lin tried to continue the conversations.

Unfortunately, it was time for us to go so we cleared the tables, stacked up the chairs and collected money. Yet another moment of awkward silence as we stood around the table, probably not wanting the gathering to end. I thanked Jasper aloud for organising and we were on our way.

Dong Fong was full as I gave 7 people a ride home. We went all the way to Changi Airport, either the GPS was wrong or I had interpreted it wrongly. I had the charger plugged in but it kept showing low battery, I could only hope that it would last until it showed the way to Pie (Tuas).

I heaved a sigh of relief when I made it to Pie (Tuas), as I knew the way from there. It was only after letting everyone alight and parking Dong Fong, that I realised the charger was in the wrong socket.

After sms-ing a little with Ev and learning that Chui Ying and charis were home safely, I quickly edited the photos before emailing them to everyone and uploading them to facebook.

2009-11-28T22:17:00.004+08:00

The past 2 days were spent playing dota & Facebook's Bejeweled Blitz and browsing online aimlessly. Anything to distract myself, anything to run away from reality.

As I begin to write this, I don't know whether I'll start tearing, whether I'll be able to fall asleep later, whether I'll survive NS.

1 more week and it'll be 2 months. The amount of mental stress and physical strain so far is like nothing I've experienced. So this is why NS turns boys into men.

Been nursing the cough for 5 weeks. Who should I blame? Flu season? Bad weather? My body? NS itself?

Can't take MC, can't be on light duty, as I can't afford to miss out on PDT and swimming, I'd still have to take the tests anyway. In the end only a pass or fail would be recorded, shown, seen.

Come on, even though there won't be make-up lessons, you can ask your squad mates and even practise with them. They know that you're genuinely ill and won't think you 'chao geng'. Yea right.

As I went to the kitchen to refill my cup with water, my mom came out of her room and I told her to sleep early. Her reply made me tear, 'when I hear you coughing I can't sleep'.

She came out again and asked me whether I wanted fried carrot cake for breakfast. I turned my head away from her and strengthened my voice to answer her, 'nop mom'.

Each time I cough, forced by the itchiness in my throat, I worry that I make my mom worry.

How much damage has my body taken since I started coughing? Has my lifespan been decreased by a few years? Has permanent damage been done? Will I recover to the state as if I never had it?

I was never given a choice with this heart condition. My specialist said that I'm fit to go, but is that really the case? What unknown complications lie hidden, lie unknown?

I fear, that I may drop after physical training.

I regret, not having spent more and proper time with family and friends.

I reminisce the past 20 years - studies, family, friends, work, computer, books, music, home. And I am thankful for everything.

Please, let me recover.

Change.

2009-01-18T22:12:00.002+08:00

We had 22-25 people at the sec sch gathering at Ms Siva's place, consisting of people from my class and ex peer leaders.

When Ms Siva finally chatted with me, she asked me:

- Whether I had a gf yet

- Whether I was involved in any CCA(s)

- Whether I still had low self-esteem

- Whether I was close to getting a gf

My answers:

- Nop

- I tried for guitar but didn't get in. I got through pool but simply didn't wanna wait until 5 every Friday for training. Looking back, I should've practised harder for guitar and joined pool. Imagine if I did..

- Self-esteem.. I have unbalanced eyes and a heart issue?

- Nop

She got seemingly furious and started a outside-witness talk whereby she and Paolo (senior than me by 4 years) talked while the rest of us had to listen. The conversation was initially aimed at me, in trying to psycho me to join LINK, a volunteer organisation by LaSallians, in order to get to know more people, 'have a life' and possibly get hitched.

After that she brought up random stuff whom I didn't know who she was taking about, and the topic lasted a while about her relationship issues.

I pick up my guitar.. and sing a song to myself.. "Happy Birthday"

2009-01-04T23:41:00.004+08:00

I spent the last few minutes of 2008 washing up in preparation for sleep. Didn't have any plans to go out at all.

Once 2009 arrived, I went to dota and owned the other team badly cuz one of them provoked me. I knew that his pudge might hook me from that angle at mid lane but didn't avoid it and he did kill me after hooking. He went "=D, you walk left and right mah, so I try lo". He ended up leaving.

Got all 3 test results back after sch reopened, didn't do well, probably cuz I didn't put in much effort. I say that I'll do my best for the following projects and final exams, but I'm not sure how strong my resolve is to fulfill that.

Woke up with a present on my table from 2nd sis and lazed in bed for another half an hour. After washing up I opened it and it was a grey shirt from Nike, not exactly the best colour for a shirt to wear out..

Played dota and went to help my mom clean the kitchen. Played more dota until dinner. At the expected birthday celebration we took some photos and shared more than 3/4 of the cake, remaining 2 pieces' in the fridge. Too bad the photos didn't turn out too well.

Although this pic is a little blur, it's kinda the best in terms of proportion and lighting already.

(please ignore the hair, it wasn't styled ><)

BWPS 6/1, 2001 BBQ&Chalet

2008-12-29T21:03:00.001+08:00

(very dry post of what happened at the BWPS bbq&chalet)

Washed the car at noon and didn’t wax it yet, thinking it would rain. Sis helped mom with the mee fen and after a dota game to burn time, I went downstairs to wax the car and brought down my sling bag and tripod first. Upon finish waxing, the sky darkened and I went back upstairs to take the mee fen, almond and canned longan. Carefully navigating my way towards Pasir Ris, I went to top up petrol first at Tampines Ave 1’s Caltex before continuing towards Downtown East. I reached at 5.10, there were a lot of lots available in the open air parking and I was 50 cents short of $4 for full-day parking.

Deng Kai and Gilvin came to help me take stuff and I waited at the main entrance after dropping the stuff off. Nobody was there and I was afraid my instructions of “main entrance at downtown east” weren’t clear enough. After a while, Charis, Xin Ying and Chuan Li came (after several calls about where to go) and we went in.

Gary, Jie Fang, Johnathan, Jasmin and Serene were busy with the fire. Deng Kai, Gilvin, Jasper, Kenneth and Daryl were slacking around and helped out now and then. After a short while, I went out to meet Shi Min and Mdm Pang. Further into the night, Joel, Lionel and Yen Lin arrived. Total of 19 people including me!

Hmm we chatted around and ate, updating each other about what we have been doing. Then they got bored and started playing “monkey”. Kenneth was hit in the specs and he bled a little at the spec’s rest area.

Johnathan and Jasmin decided to play ‘zong ji mi ma’ to clear the food and the person who ‘kenna’ the number would have to eat. There were a tray of mee fen, sushi (brought by Mdm Pang), some satay and otah to clear.

I had my first taste of wasabi, though I chewed a little only and kept my tongue away. Felt nauseous for a while in the chest before it finally went away, thanks Jasper for some mint sweets.

Went upstairs and talked a little with Xin Ying, Charis and Jasper. Xin Ying gave me a nicely wrapped present, which she later revealed to be chocolate from overseas.

Went back downstairs and talked with Gary and Kenneth. Lionel exclaimed that he did so badly for exams in poly that he had to repeat a year, thanks to dota.

Obtained Melvin’s number from Deng Kai, had lost his contact since graduation. I asked around and found out that Gary saw Xue Mei and Shin Rong often and asked him to help me ask them for their numbers. With this, my contact list will be complete (excluding the three Malay girls who never hung around us).

Nearing 11, Shi Min wanted to leave and I decided that I would leave to and drive her home. Gary, Daryl, Charis and Gilvin tagged along. The whole drive was smooth, except for the part where a driver left the bus stop he was at, went into the lane to my left, cut across my lane and then into the filter lane on the right before turning right.

Fortunately I breaked in time and sounded my horn, otherwise I’d have collided with him. It was something like a Honda Stream or Toyota Wish, with provisional license.

Although it was not my fault at all, I apologised to my passengers for the scare. Damn that driver..

Reached home at about 11.45, slacked around for 45 mins before going downstairs to move the car to take my dad’s car lot (he was going out for work). After a shower and more apologises through sms to the passengers earlier, here I am writing this post.. and finishing it.

I finally understand.

2008-12-29T16:57:00.007+08:00

Oh the irony, I used to think that no one would group with the slackers cuz they're, well, slackers. In the end, I'm the one left without a group while they have, cuz.. they have friends. Jason and Clem won't split from Uma, Lian Wei and Zai, although the former know that they'll do most of the work. Joshua and Ameen don't mind working with Zi Jian and Michelle, although they rarely talk, and they choose Andrew over me, cuz they're always joking around.

Why? Cuz:

I'm serious most of the time?

I'm no fun being around cuz I don't or can't joke?

I'm not 'cool' by being punctual and quiet in class?

I don't hang around after class and waste time but instead walk off quickly to the MRT to get home?

---

After much more thought, I understand myself a lot more.

Due to the fact that I've grown up with little interaction with family and friends, I've become in need of attention. And attention is something everyone needs.

In the process of sub-consciously trying to get attention by saying or doing some things, I might have instead hurt or offended people, unknowingly. And the result of this is that it might have caused me to lose friends or make wrong impressions.

I could call up a few people from last night's pri sch BBQ & chalet and they would probably be able to name an instance where I seemed rude.

---

If this is the price:

For saying thanks for being able to wake up every morning and having lived another day.

For saying thanks whenever I have something to eat, especially to the animals which once lived.

For not killing insects and blowing them slightly to chase them away instead.

For mentally saying 'take care' to old or handicapped people when I see them.

For wanting to greet the cleaners in school.

For appreciating the fact that we have foreigners to handle jobs us Singaporeans would not want to handle.

For rarely sitting in the MRT cuz other people need it more.

For picking up insects I have accidentally killed and leaving them on the flower pot outside my house to let them decompose and return to Mother nature.

Then I still won't trade who I am to become like most people - unappreciative, self-centered etc.

If I have to remain ostracised to be who I am, then so be it, although it will hurt.

Now I know and understand why I'm so different, why I don't get along with most people.

This, is the solution I have given to myself regarding my interpersonal issues.

I'm not sorry I'm a better human than you are.

---

If you thought I was showing off or trying to steal the show by making calls to inform everyone about chalet details, worrying about whether people could find their way, asking my mom to cook mee fen, bringing dessert, driving to the chalet, bringing a tripod to take photos, offering to drive people home and actually driving them home, screw you.

I did it with pure intentions.

How strong is your resolve to fulfill new year resolutions?

2008-12-26T21:37:00.003+08:00

How did I spend Christmas yesterday? Dota-ed the whole afternoon and blogged while listening to Kavin Hoo at night.

How have I spent Boxing Day? Dota-ed the whole early noon. Spent the rest of noon calling up almost everyone to inform them about details of the bbq & chalet this Sun. In the evening, watched a few episodes of Gundam Seed and then watched TV at night.

Boring isn't it?

I realise, I can be rather emotionless most of the time. There're a lot more things to frown about than smile about in the world. Minimising the range to my life instead, I can't say I'm in a good state either.

As usual, I know I gotta and wanna do some things but I haven't gotten around to doing them.

Is this what happens when one's conversations with his family have been reduced to "have you eaten?", "are you going out today?", "there's dessert", "when are your exams?" etc... for years?

Blessing or curse?

2008-12-25T22:48:00.004+08:00

listening to: Kavin Hoo - A Moment In Time

Christmas Eve, some send out Christmas greetings through phone calls, sms or msn before or after midnight. I only received two sms, from an unexpected pri sch classmate and my maple mei. Not that I was expecting any at all, cuz after all I haven't kept in contact with people I know.

Come to think of it, there's never been a sec sch gathering since graduation. Either there haven't been any at all or I was never invited.

I've always wondered about why I'm not like most people. About why my interpersonal relationships are so bad at the moment. About why I *never* receive friendly calls or sms to chat except from two people. Probably cuz I myself have never put in much effort to maintain them except for a few.

I guess after growing up alone without much interaction with family has this kinda effect. This is the best reason and explanation I have now.

There is this feeling of wanting to have active friends, to be called up or smsed for friendly chats regularly, to be able to go out with friends almost everyday. The feeling of wanting to be like how most people are, of being normal.

I realise I've been very helpful regarding the pri sch chalet this Sun. I've asked my sis to make almond dessert, offered to call everyone up once the organiser tells me the chalet number and update my contacts in the process, offered to drive them to buy stuff if they want, gonna bring the chocolate I received from my mom's friend today when she came to visit to share with everyone, and gonna bring tripod, camera and speakers

Consciously I want the chalet to be very successful, although I'm not part of the organisers. Sub-consciously I guess I want some attention from my pri sch friends.

She said the way I try to portray myself may not necessarily be the way others see me. What am I doing wrong? What.. is wrong?

It's a mental war.

2008-12-18T00:06:00.002+08:00

Watched Bolt with she-who-shall-not-be-named. It was an entertaining movie where puns worked out fantastically.

*after 3 mins* I wanted to write about the issues with my dad and the Dong Fong but I blanked out.

At least I've taken the first step to further accepting the vehicle, by getting Exclusive Motors' number from my dad and informing him that I'll call them up and send it for servicing. Cuz I know he'll never get around to doing it..

I'm bad at communication skills.

2008-12-13T15:01:00.003+08:00

When my elder sis and mom got home from praying at Bugis and shopping at Phoon Huat, the latter commented that my dad's face was 'black'. I simply can't understand why he reacts this way every time she goes out. What the f* is wrong with you? It's not like she's gonna have an affair.

Thanks dad, for nothing. You've continuously made my mom upset. You bought a vehicle for me which was an obvious bad choice, and I will have to pay for it when you stop working. In addition, the thought of the possibility that his smoking habit, which he has never been able to quit with the excuse that it's too hard after smoking for so many years, could have caused my heart condition.. makes me never want to talk to him again. Why the f* do dads smoke when their family are around?

My elder sis was packing the baking stuff she bought and I thought, 'great more stuff to put into the kitchen'. Her room itself is a mess, thanks to her baking hobby the kitchen is a mess now too. I don't wanna talk about how she has never bothered to lose weight.

Fine, enough of finding fault with them. Let's find fault with myself. Let's see..

All these late nights since the holiday started have caused panda eyes and my face condition to deteriorate a little. It's a mental war, there's something which stops me from sleeping early and I can't seem to stop it. I know it sounds unreasonable, but it's like I wanna destroy myself bit by bit.

I used to help my mom with housework when I was young, nowadays even when she wants to ask me something about her hp, which wouldn't take a few minutes, she asks whether I'm free. How have I ended up deterring my own mom from asking me for help?

I used to play RuneScape everyday from sec 2 to 4. It was only in poly that I realised that it was my way of escaping from reality. Until now I still don't communicate with my family at all, I've grown up and solved my problems by myself, I don't need them now.

Yes, I might regret it when they're almost gone or gone (touch wood), but I really can't be bothered. I don't know how to explain why I feel this way either.

I just don't wanna end up having this communication problem when I have my own family, if I do.

I guess I'm just bad at interpersonal stuff.

2008-12-11T23:58:00.000+08:00

Me, Yao Quan, Jia Wei and Donald were best friends in sec 3 and 4, we always played MagicTheGathering together and had no lack of subject to talk about. 3 years after graduating and we've barely talked. There's msn, sms and phone, but I guess the egoistic side of me never bothered to initiate conversations with them just cuz they never did.

I'm angry at myself.

2008-12-04T20:34:00.003+08:00

For procrastinating physical training until now, and thus not in adequate condition for napfa yet.

For lazying around the whole day until now, and thus have little time left to study.

For being angry at my dad and 2nd sis.

I'm afraid I won't be able to take it anymore one day.

2008-11-30T19:59:00.004+08:00

Had encounters with 3 stupid drivers as I was looking for a parking lot in Terminal 3. Lemme talk about the last one, I signalled early to hint to the car behind that I was gonna park. I knew that there was enough space for me to reverse into but after I started reversing she sounded her horn. I continued in and when she passed me, she gave me a look which meant "knn".

1) I signalled early.

2) I reversed slowly.

And she still reverse her car further to let me park but instead sounded her horn. Sorry but this, along with the 1st 2 encounters (female drivers also) strengthens my impression that female drivers are bad.

Upon meeting up with my 2nd sis for the lunch I mentioned, I realised that I over-reacted a little in my previous post. I am still upset at her about the things mentioned (she obviously doesn't know) but not to the extent where I'd cut off relationships with her, she's still my sister. Here's the thing, if I bother to talk to her about those things and give her a wake-up call, she'd probably change.

Lunch at Dian Xiao Er was good. Dunno how to comment on the dishes, cuz I'm a simple-eater. Meaning I can even have plain rice with soya sauce if necessary. It's thanks to the Lasallian Leadership Camps in sec 3 and 4 which have helped me to appreciate food and not be fussy about it.

My dad sat in 2nd sis' car while I drove my mom, elder sis and nephew home. When we reached home my dad wanted to go to Exclusive Motors to take a look and 2nd sis followed the two of us. I was unresponsive at Exclusive while they discussed, cuz I know I'm f-ing (pardon me) stuck with this Dong Fong for at least 5-7 years.

I have always been unresponsive to my dad since we got this Dong Fong. You can say that I should forgive him and move on cuz he's my dad after all, but I just can't. Then what if he's gone forever the next day (touch wood) and I didn't even answer him properly when he last asked me a question? That may be the only scenario where I'll forgive him.

It's hard to understand how disappointed I was when he chose this Dong Fong instead of Perodua Kenari, Suzuki Swift or Honda Jazz. Seated in the passenger seat while he drove since I was young, I've always been looking forward to the day I get my driving license and let him sit in the passenger seat for once. I looked even more forward to the day I get to drive my "own" car (cuz I won't be paying for the installments yet).

As the saying goes, "the higher they go the harder they fall" or in Chinese "yi chang huan xi yi chang kong". All my hopes crumbled to nothing when he chose the Dong Fong, even though the others were cheaper or similarly priced.

Look at the situation now, we bought it at $43,999 using a 10-year installment plan. And what's the price now? $34,999-$36999..

What really pisses me off is that after he caused the dent at the lower left side while driving to Malaysia, he said he'd go and get it repaired. That was in March, it's December now and it's still unrepaired!? Not to mention the central lock for back doors which are not working, air-con not being cold etc.

I shouldn't put all the responsiblity on my dad? Damnit he kept asking me what car I wanted when he jolly-well knew what I wanted, and in the end he chose this.

What has been done has been done, time can't be reversed? Sorry I just can't forgive him. When he's unable to work (touch wood), I'm the one who's gonna have to pay the installements for something I DIDN'T CHOOSE.

Nice one sis.

2008-11-29T22:11:00.002+08:00

Going to Changi Airport's Crystal Jade or 'Dian Xiao Er' for lunch tomorrow. My 2nd sis will be joining us, but when my elder sis asked whether she'll split the bill with her, her reply was (translated from Chinese) "you ask me to go de what". That was an excellent reply.

After she just had Kevin (my nephew), she usually left him with us on weekends so that she and her husband could slack a little. Ever since she hired a maid, she has been coming back less and less frequently. Whenever Kevin was sick, she would always call my mom or elder sis and either of them would make a trip down to her house at SengKang to take care of him. Now that she has a helper, she doesn't need us anymore and thus doesn't find the need to come back to this house.

She owes my mother about 3K+, which has accumulated since her marriage. She and her husband have a combined income of 4K, but she can't even be bothered to repay the debt slowly through installments, much less to say give my mom an allowance.

As for her role as sister to me, sure she's more approachable than my elder sis but it's not like I've ever confided in her anyway (not that I confide in my parents or elder sis either). What has she done for me other than give gifts on special occasions.. lemme think.. oh I don't remember any. As far as I recall, she stayed with her boyfriend (now husband) since I was in pri sch already.

When the time comes, I'll reprimand her about all these things and more, and make sure that she returns the debt she owes my mother to us.

I'm special.

2008-11-26T20:21:00.003+08:00

Almost wanted to go back to sleep again when I woke up but I managed to pull myself up to go to sch on time. Communication Skills for Business (CSB) was ordinary and ended with some homework to do over the holidays.

Had lunch in foodcourt 4 before chilling with PSP and Bleach episode 196. During DMDW, I was watching Jason play his usual Red Alert 3: Command & Conquer most of the time, but when the lecturer posed a question (which nobody seemed to be able to answer) I was still able to answer it.

ERP was boring as usual, she told us how to study it and went through the MCQ questions of past sem's paper. We were told we were supposed to go for a career talk at 3, but nobody could be bothered.

My mom showed me the electrical bill once I got home.. it was $230 last month! And now it's $300, what's going on? As they say, costs of living keep increasing but salaries don't. Hope families with low income can manage.

Unable to strengthen my resolve to study, I ended up watching the last few episodes of this season of Yu-Gi-Oh GX.

3 weeks of holidays after next week's 3 tests, don't wanna work at Laguna again. Last time I worked there (2 weekends ago), I felt so tired of working there. Not that there were a lot of customers, I just felt that way.

It's 8.36pm now, maybe I'll be able to fall asleep after some PSP cuz I'm really sleepy. I knew I didn't sleep well last night from the eyebags I felt when I woke up.

"You gain something, you lose something." I've been given the gift of some things, but in exchange some other things have been taken away from me..

It made me realise how alone I am.

2008-11-24T23:05:00.001+08:00

Reached sch an hour earlier and played psp until Data Mining (DMDW) lecturer arrived. Found out that she told the class to pass me the Market Basket Analysis (MBA) question but no one did.. There was no tutorial after that so we could go. The rest went to slack while I found a lab and finished the Enterprise Resource Planning (ERP) practical in an hour. There was supposed to be ERP practical from 12.30 to 3.30 but the lecturer was unavailable. I wasn't gonna wait until 12.30 for the lab to be available like the rest were going to, so I used another lab instead.

Watched Mobile Suit Gundam 00 and Yu-Gi-Oh GX before going to pick up my mom from work. Pretty much slacked around until 4 and took a nap, telling myself to do DMDW assignment when I wake up.

Woke up at 7, had dinner while watching GX and immediately started on my part for DMDW. Josh told me to use confidence of 0.75 (as he said in the afternoon) after I was done using the default of 0.8. So after talking with Ameen I had to re-do everything and re-do them I did.

3 mid-sem tests next week..

Time passes so quickly I barely have time to breathe.

2008-11-22T23:51:00.004+08:00

Called my mom once I woke up to see what time she could leave work. After washing up and browsing online a lil she called back and I was off to pick her up. Immediately went to the carpark wanting to wash the car after dropping her off and there was a Malay lady dressed in a black full-body dress. Who washes their car in a black full-body dress?

Anyway after she was done it was my turn and the car was really dirty cuz I hadn't washed it for a month, was working on Sat 2 weeks ago and then on Sun last week, then again that's just an excuse. There were stains at both the front doors, from the mirror going downwards, probably cuz I didn't wipe the car dry after all the raining these few days. I didn't feel guilty, just 'heart-pain'.

Bathed Lily once I got home and played a game of dota before showering. Watched National Treasure 2 and owned in 2 games of dota before chilling in the living room while playing NFS undercover on PSP. I was stuck at a race where I had to take out 4 police cars for a long long time. How was I supposed to do that when I drove forward and they drove forward too, when they could accelerate faster than me and when they avoided me until they could corner me? Did the developers even test the AI system? I finally completed it after a lot of attempts. If I get stuck like this again I'll probably delete the game straight away.

After watching another movie on PSP, I heard weird noises while washing up, tried to figure out where it came from but to no avail.

Jagged from the National Lasallian Leadership Convention (NLLC) held in Ipoh, Malaysia which I attended back in sec 3 is supposed to call me this weekend to meet up cuz he's in Singapore for a holiday, but he hasn't..

Resolve

2008-11-21T21:49:00.003+08:00

Not bad, as written in my previous post, I got around to doing some work, only watching a few episodes of yu-gi-oh gx instead of a dozen, wrapping my books and practising guitar (after the post). It's a start.

Reached sch on time altho I left house a lil later, ran into Faiz, a sch-mate from St Pat's. Tried to pay as much attention as I could to MCOM and fell asleep when it ended. Woke up halfway through the 1st of 3 group's presentation on Security Management Practices (SEMP).

Stoned while the rest joked around about napfa around the stadium area. After which we went to Singapore Poly Graduates' Guild (SPGG) to bowl, scored 95 and 108, with 2 strikes in the 2nd game. Josh even commented that I had good control of my bowling, yea I kept trying to correct what I was doing wrong. Got cut by the bowling bowl's holes where you put your fingers in, it didn't have the acrylic protection, never using one without again, whenever that next time is.

Watched yu-gi-oh 5d's and gx before going on a movie spree on psp, with my right wrist aching from the bowling. Technically I'm not tired, but my eyebags and dark rings sure show otherwise. It's 10pm sharp now, will I be able to sleep early for once? Or will I succumb to dota or psp all over again?

I shall use The Secret

2008-11-20T21:29:00.005+08:00

National Heart Centre's (NHC) appointment's at 9am but I reached at 8.30. Another doctor did the echoscan for about 20mins (15 on heart, 5 on throat and stomach) until Dr Tan came. After a rushed statement that my condition is the same, I paid for it and left. Only upon reaching the bus stop did I remember the questions I wanted to ask her. So I called NHC which directed me to SGH and left my number with her.

Was back at sch before 10 and went to Student & Alumini Affairs (SAA) to ask about napfa test. She said that I could be exempted from napfa if I wanted and thus from Basic Military Training (BMT) as well due to my condition. But what's the point if the NS medical exam early next month declares me fit and I go into a physically-demanding section of pes C anyway. I'd be at the losing end as compared to the others who would have trained for napfa and received BMT.

Stoned in foodcourt 6 for a while with psp and chatted with JC, even fell asleep for 15mins before heading back down to T17 for lessons. Tried to pay attention during Mobile Commerce (MCOM) and Data Mining & Data Warehousing (DMDW). Dr Tan called back and I asked her the questions I wanted to ask. In summary, I'm considered physically fit and she has given valid explanations for all the events that have happened. My condition will not necessarily deteriorate, it could happen for no apparent reason. However, over-exertion is of cuz not recommended and a healthy physical and mental lifestyle should help.

I hope that I have enough resolve to train up for napfa, which I can delay until the last few test dates in Jan. Hoping is not enough, I gotta get off my lazy ass..

To my delight, Ethical Hacking (ETH) was cancelled and I went home straight. Watched a few episodes of Yu-Gi-Oh GX while wrapping textbooks before spending the rest of the afternoon doing MCOM assignment. It seems that during the previous MCOM lesson Clement blended in nicely with the rest to form a group of 4 (the maximum), which leaves me out this time. Very well, I shall handle this 6 credit module (the highest) alone since solo-ing is allowed. In fact I've got all of the coding to work already (it was easy, just needed effort), just needa do stuff like pictures, fonts, extra features and more testing. No problem.

Watched Madagascar 2 which Zai passed to me, had dinner and played 1/4 + 1 game of dota. The 1/4 game was thanks to an idiotic host who left upon his friend dc-ing, owned in the 2nd game. It's nearly 10 now, maybe I'll sleep early for once.

To-Do List

2008-10-20T18:05:00.004+08:00

- Repair jigsaw puzzle, trip to Plaza Sing needed.

- Retrieve A Maths practice books from Ms Teo, photocopy and return. Next week.

- Reformat comp. This weekend.

- Download Gundam, Chinese MP3 and more PSP games.

- Bring mouse for RMA.

- Decide whether or not to spend $238 on new phone and $198 on new watch.

- Dental appointment. This Wed 3pm.

Retail therapy!

2008-10-06T14:53:00.003+08:00

Sat - Sim Lim Square

Walked around for a few hours and drooled at all the latest hardware and games. Decided to ask PC Themes, the shop where I bought my DIY computer from, whether they have the Razer sling bag, given during Comex for Razer purchases above $129. The boss asked me for a quote and I told him Ban Leong was selling at $24.80 with receipt of Razer purchase, then he quoted $18 and it was mine after searching for 2 months.

Also bought RaceDriver Grid, a PC racing game.. but didn't like at all once I tried it. Should've tried their downloadable demo first, desperately tried to sell it online the rest of the day.

Razer sling bag - $18

RaceDriver Grid - $46

---

Sun

Balestier

Brought Lily to the vet regarding her skin infection, which me and my sis thought were nothing at first. The vet also cleaned her ears of wax, cut her nails and checked her eyes. Prescription for the infection included shampoo, cleaning liquid, medicine (pills) and a cream. Bill came up to $230.

Sim Lim Square

Made another trip to SLS to buy printer ink and claim the casing for my harddisk (forgot to bring receipt yesterday). Also bought a 120mm LED fan for my CPU which I had always wanted after seeing other people's CPU with lots of bling bling.

After getting home dismantled the CPU to remove some dust, clean the front panel and install the fan. However the holes didn't have screw grooves so I spent a lot of strength trying to get them in.

Canon BCI-3eBK - $18

120mm LED Fan - $14

Tampines

Contacted someone who posted on another person's thread who was also selling RaceDriver Grid and he called me before dinner to meet at 6.45. Tried to burn a copy while having dinner but it required a dual-layer DVD instead of normal one so it couldn't be done. After selling it to him at $35 (loss of $11, can't help it), went into Tampines Mall to have a look at watches but none in particular caught my eye.

Walking towards the interchange to take bus home, saw Hang Ten's offers and went in to take a look. After 3/4 rounds of trying decided on 2 jeans, 1 long-sleeve shirt (buy 2 get 1 free), 1 polo and 1 t-shirt (30% for 2 items), total was $96+.

Bling bling!

This is nothing compared to NS.

2008-09-25T23:22:00.003+08:00

Had recovered from Tuesday's cold by yesterday morning after a night's sleep and panadol for cold. Felt perfectly fine during work, or even better. However, the journey home yesterday night probably triggered it again and woke up this morn near 9 feeling ill and fatigued all over again. Sms-ed William to MC myself today in order to recover for tomorrow's 130-people buffet, better to MC today than tomorrow. Spent the whole day playing dota until I felt sleepy and took a nap, although I'd be unable to sleep until a later time.

I remember the reasons why I chose to work instead of to slack at home. It's cuz I'd just be gaming all day anyway if I don't.. and cuz this kinda work is really nothing compared to NS, although I don't think I'd be doing anything strenuous due to my condition. But if things do go the other way and I faint/go into a coma/even die, please sue the medical officers for not taking me seriously, especially when KK hospital and National Heart Centre have my records.

Smokers and alcohol drinkers.. I don't understand them. Why would you pay for something to destroy yourself? Are cigarettes and alcohol really enjoyable? Some people have their reasons such as to entertain people. Others simply can't quit cuz their resolve isn't strong enough. Most took it up out of curiosity or due to peer pressure. I myself will only smoke and/or drink if I know I'm about to die already, so if you see me doing either, you know what's going on. Don't worry, my resolve is strong enough.

Now I know why it hurt so much.

2008-09-22T22:14:00.003+08:00

Listening to: The Veronicas, Untouched

Genre: Electro pop

My head hurts like a migraine now, probably cuz it was a long and hot day at work.. and cuz I'm emo-ing now. Either I write this post to express myself or I'll probably get so stressed that I'll move the dong fong to a position directly downstairs the kitchen window and jump down.

Prologue: 2 May 2008's post. I came up with this phrase earlier, "now I know why it hurt so much". From the moment I started learning how to drive I anticipated that I would either have nothing to drive until I get one myself or my dad would buy a second-hand/new low-end car. I least expected that he would choose this dong fong. Other people would say that I should be happy I have something to drive as long as it gets me from point A to B. I keep telling myself to accept it.. but the truth is I can never forgive my dad for the decision he made. It was selfish, stubborn and inconsiderate, like he has always been and still is.

Recently I have been having more issues with my heart. I've never written about my condition before cuz the last thing I want is sympathy or attention, but at this moment in time I don't really care. Last Fri at work I inhaled more smoke than usual as I was serving the smoking area often and had difficulty breathing after that. I excused myself from doing service by going to wash the glasses. It only got better near evening after the meal break but as I was walking back up I felt that my heartbeat was extremely fast. Then I counted my heartbeats per minute a few times and it was 90-100 beats per minute even after I sat down. And last night as soon as I lied down my lower chest felt strained. I sat up for a few minutes before it went away and headed to sleep.

I've brought forward my medical appointment with National Heart Centre to mid Nov, but I have to book the NS check-up in mid Oct and then poly's NAPFA is in Nov.. shall decide what to do again after this week's 5 consecutive days of work.

Prologue: 1 Aug 2008's post. I don't care what reasons my parents had when they chose to distance themselves from ALL relatives, cuz like I said, now I don't even know how many cousins I have, least to say who they or the rest are. Last time I was talking to Liang Yong (the dessert chef) about how we don't know how to appreciate things until they're gone, relating that statement to my situation with my family. In fact the conversations I have with them nowadays only include whether them asking whether I've eaten and whether I'm working the next day. It has gotten to the extent whereby they don't ask me how was work cuz I can't be bothered telling them about it anyway and would just give a short reply.

Ironic, the same stress I'm going through now could cause my condition to deteriorate.

The first thing I say every morning.. "thanks".

2008-09-14T17:20:00.003+08:00

I realise I haven't posted for 6 days, probably cuz days have been ordinary.

If I'm at work, it's the same routine. If I'm at home, it's usually dota, browsing around or listening to music.

Some notable things though:
- Thurs noon, John was on MC and we were expecting 120 customers for the buffet. With all the other staff reluctant to be food runner, I went to do it instead. Fortunately the head chef of Laguna National was around to help me garnish and prepare condiments for the food, otherwise I'd have gotten (for lack of a better word) f-ed cuz there were a lot of alacard customers too.

- Wed night, me and John had brought down 72 cooler boxes and filled them up with 2 100+ and 2 aqua mineral water each. On Thurs night it was me (again) and Hadi who brought them up.

- Thurs night, I drove Hadi to Tanah Merah MRT, I had previously decided not to drive any colleague cuz I'd have to drive the others as well but since he was so nice when we were collecting cooler boxes..

- Wed night after work, JC came to pick me up and we drove to the airport to send Ada off to London. I talked to her aunt who used to be a cardiologist and after explaining my condition she recommended me to see a specialist as soon as possible. Then after we chatted a while more we headed down from Popeye's and she went in.

An expensive day.

2008-09-08T12:15:00.002+08:00

Reached City Hall MRT at 11.50am and Ada was already there. We walked around first while waiting for JC and she bought Danish bread. After JC arrived at 11.15 we decided to eat in Din Tai Fung. In addition to xiao long bao and some sort of prawn fish cake, each of us had a bowl of soup noodles.

We chatted about our times back in Summerhouse, Pan Pacific. Black jackets - June, April, Jude, Frankie, Janice, Rathi and Daevid. Room service - Michelle. Other regular staff - Asai, Nicholette, Adnan, Sarah, Zhu Hui, big Ahmad, small Ahmad, Cheryl, Mia, Fadilah, Chen Wei, Firdauz, Luke, Mun Hou, Teng Siang, Thanesh. Chefs - Wei Ming and Ronnie. The list goes on, just a recollection off my head.

After receiving glares from the waiting crowd and waiters (as we had finished the food but still sat around), we went to settle the bill which came up to $55+. I thought the food was ordinary so I don't think I'd go there to eat again.

Next we went to Chanele for dessert and each of us ordered an ice cream. Although they were $8 each they were indeed "high-quality" ice cream. We continued chatting about stuff like whether Ada will stay in SG after she graduates, what kinda guys she likes, why I'm still single, mine and JC's condition etc.

Afterwards we went to Marina Sq for Ada to do some shopping, she bought two tops and a skirt from Mango and Zarra respectively. It was a bit awkward for me and JC to follow her into the women's apparel shops, other than the fact that it seemed like she had two boyfriends or we were her bodyguards.

We went to meet up with her 'dai gor' who is also working in Pan Pac and after passing the bags over both of us went into Pan Pac for a walk. We saw Michelle at the bakery and Zhu Hui at poolside, then we went up to the 22nd executive floor as JC wanted to visit his ex-colleagues. The view there was good, we could see clear skies, the construction of the IR, the dam itself and the CBD buildings.

Once again I realise how judgemental and cruel this world can be.

2008-09-06T22:07:00.002+08:00

*written between 4.15 and 4.30 before meal was ready*

Everyone's in a bad mood today, probably cuz of the new part-timers. As they don't know much, all they do is clear plates, give menus, serve ice water and give cold towels. Any order taking and cutlery setting etc. are still left to the seniors.

Then again I hope it's not cuz of the mistakes which I have made, whether I realised them after or not. I have indeed been making more mistakes than usual - forgetting to set the cutlery after taking orders, forgetting garnishes for stall dishes etc.

In addition, some intentional actions such as not helping in stations when they can manage and having a neutral stern face instead of mild smiling face may have caused a negative impression.

Just like how Summerhouse became an unpleasant place to work in, this is becoming one too.

It might become a situation whereby seniors who are friendly with each other talk about staff whom they dislike as they did something wrong or did not do something.

Yesterday, I asked Bernard to let me work on days which I'm on off, now I don't wanna work instead.

After break time I talked to Bernard about my thoughts and he enlightened me with this statement "you may be my colleagues, but you may not be my friends". He also said that it's more important for one to focus on his own work, instead of taking what others say or do seriously.

Once again I realise how judgemental and cruel this world can be.

I walk alone this lonely road.

2008-09-04T22:24:00.004+08:00

Tues, 2 Sep 2008

Can't remember much about work two days ago as I didn't blog it, shall not bother to go and remember either. However at 4pm+ while the rest were having their break, Hadi asked me to do something crazy. He wanted me to pretend to be his manager and call up his friend A, in order to get friend B's number. So my script was this, Hadi had not went to work for 4 days, was uncontactable, I would just say I had my ways in getting friend A's number and through our casual conversations I learnt about friend A and B.

The person who answered the call said that friend A was not around, so I gave him the restaurant's number as per Hadi's instructions. Friend A then called back at 7pm+ and said that she could not give me friend B's number. By the end of the night Hadi had received over 4 calls from the concerned friend A.

Wed, 3 Sep 2008

Short outing with she-who-shall-not-be-named. Ni zhi dao wo zhi dao jiu hao le, bu yao xie le. (Kinda tired from work.)

After getting home I spent the rest of the day playing dota, it was fun.

Thurs, 4 Sep 2008

There were two new staff (C and D), they had worked before but I was off on that day so I didn't see them. C was taught things to do as a bartender by Swee Kean like blending of fruit juices, dispensing beer and other bartender procedures while D was up the stairs guiding customers in. Heard that C's from Malaysia and D's from Mongolia.

I myself was stall runner (serve chicken rice, prawn mee, wanton noodle and laksa) and it was of course manageable, nothing special happened except that I kept forgetting garnishes like laksa leaves for laksa and "cong1" for wanton soup. When I was refilling the black soya sauce + chilli sauce + ginger (as I was free), Bernard told me to help out in the stations instead as there were still a few left. Indeed my thinking at that point in time was to slack a bit as the others could handle it.

Then one of the worst things which can happen happened, Michelle asked me to go downstairs to take stock with her and she said it would take 3 full big trolleys. The 1st trolley containing 20 boxes of aqua mineral water bottles (24 in a box) and 15 boxes of 100+ (24 in a box) was so heavy that I could barely push it, in addition the wheels made it slant to the left. When I did make it from the storeroom to the lift, I left the trolley there and went upstairs to ask John to help me. We unloaded the 100+ so that the lift wouldn't give the overloaded sound (as the weight would be centralised). Once upstairs Liang Yong was kind enough to help me carry it up the stupid step (where the doors separate restaurant and kitchen) upon seeing that I was semi-exhausted.

After unloading the 1st trolley Michelle arrived with the 2nd one containing 9 barrels of Carlsberg and the 100+ and she pushed the 1st one back downstairs while I did the unloading again. When I was done with the 2nd I went downstairs to pick up the 3rd and final one with her, which had miscellaneous items like bottles of tomato sauce, chilli sauce and fruit juices.

I was exhausted at the end and hoped to recover quickly in order to survive the night. Before the break I talked to Violet (a cashier( about Peter C's complain last Sat as I felt guilty and explained that I was the one who "made" the 2nd wrong order, it's a long story. She seemed okay about it and then I explained to her about the education system in Singapore.

Anyway during the much needed break, I was disappointed to see that the fries and fish cutlets we ate earlier during lunch (before I started work) had been changed to cabbage, another vege which I don't know the name of and normal fish. I only ate rice with curry to fill my stomach.

Back upstairs staff for Fuurin Japanese restaurant were walking in and I noticed a new girl (very chio). I asked John who she was and he said that she had worked there before on buffet nights (Wed and Thurs) and exaggerated that he wanted to marry her. Later on she came out of Fuurin to serve plain udon (made in Fuurin) to a customer seated in Lakes Cafe and she approached me and John without warning. I instinctly stepped backwards and bumped into John who was behind, she said that the customer wanted more chilli sauce before heading back into Fuurin. Me and John were laughing that I had bumped into him and he didn't avoid me, as we were too focused on her. Then again right now I have no idea how she looks like, it all happened within seconds. Throughout the night I stole far glances at her while being kept busy by the dinner crowd.

For the night, new staff C (dunno her name) was to be bartender and Haley (D) to be beverage runner. John and Hadi laughed at how Haley had given the smaller thinner straw for chin chow instead of the bigger more suitable one. Fact was that I told her what glasses to use for chin chow but forgot to tell her about the straw and thus she made the mistake, sorry Haley. We were all newbies once, hope she didn't take it too seriously, just like how Debbie and I laughed the same incident off.

Near 9pm Hadi and Pauline were missing most of the time and I had to do a lot for station C and A. I did leave station B to them as the family of one of the country club's top executive (if not top) Peter Kwee was having dinner and we could afford no mistakes.

What a day full of mistakes, shall try to be more alert and awake tomorrow. (Hope that that girl will be working again, although highly unlikely.)

Rest, in preparation for more work.

2008-09-01T10:41:00.002+08:00

Yesterday night I slept at 3am+ as I was playing dota. Hadn't played for a while as for the past 2 weeks after I got home I either studied for exams or blogged. Dota isn't just a game, I've learnt some things from it too - such as to be more patient (as much as leavers, noobs or irritating people have pissed me off) and to accept things the way they are. Just like how I used to play neopets, battlefield, runescape, maple, aruarose and cabal, dota is just another way for me to de-stress and in a sense, escape from reality.

When I woke up thanks to the 20+ planes which could be heard flying past to the RSAF show, I pretty much spent the whole day dota-ing until JC called to say he'd be going to Comex at 7pm. I did reach there on time and as expected he was late by 20 mins, but he was taking a bus to Suntec after all and traffic jams were no surprise. It was crowded like no tomorrow and after finding his dad and girlfriend at 4th floor Samsung and 2nd floor respectively, we went up to look at cams. As he was deciding I went up to 6th floor to visit Creative, talked to Sharon and found out that the other guy whom I talked to was Raymond Tew. Their Gigaworks T40 had been sold out already and there was even a person who bought the Inspire/I-trigue display set. She also mentioned that the external soundcard X-Fi Go was selling well.

After walking around I went back to find them and JC was checking the camera contents. He bought a Samsung cam at $199 and a printer at $179. The cam itself was bundled with mini-tripod, extra battery, charger, extra memory card and usb adapter, deals which you can only find at IT show/PC show/Comex. Many booths were slashing prices to clear stock, eg. a Samsung cam went from 599 to 499.

After JC's dad collected the extended warranty we went to the 6th floor again as they wanted to look at WII games, dragging the printer through the crowd. They didn't buy anything so we went back downstairs to collect a free wireless headphone bundled with the printer. The headphone makes use of 4 AAA batteries.. which smart person came up with this design?

JC's dad left by bus and he and his girlfriend went upstairs to grab a bite. Fortunately majority of CityLink's crowd was going towards the MRT instead of Suntec as compared to earlier when I went and I reached the MRT quickly. Fortunately (again), the North-South line train didn't come else the East-West line I was taking would've been packed.

Reaching home, I talked with my maple mei about her work attachment the next day before dota-ing. Then I went to shower and headed to sleep, near 3am again.

I am grateful for both the things I have and don't have, are you?

2008-08-30T22:19:00.002+08:00

-continued from previous post, 29 Aug 2008-

Actually I don't wanna continue about the remaining of yesterday's work, I shall talk about what happened after I got home.

As I was saying, my sis bought the keyboard and mouse + mousepad (instead of mousepad only). I didn't have much trouble adapting to the ergonomically-designed keyboard (meaning the keys are curved to suit the inward slant of hands), in fact these two posts were written using it without much typo errors.

As for the mouse, of cuz I like it as it emits a blue (my fav colour) light through the scroller and sides and the overall feel is better, but if she called me before she bought it I would have asked her not to so that I could choose between it (Diamondback 3G), Copperhead and Deathadder. I understand that she wanted to surprise and make me happy, as I spent 2-3 hours thinking before finally deciding to buy the mousepad only.

-30 Aug 2008-

The drive to work was smooth but there were two accidents in the opposite lane. The first one near Bedok interchange seemed as if the van had changed into the other's lane and didn't or couldn't stop in time. The second one nearing Laguna National seemed as if the car had lost control while turning and went straight into the railing road divider. The damage was so bad that the front hood was crashed totally. In both cases traffic police were already there.

Work-wise, shall not write much about lunch as it was ordinary and manageable considering that there were 11 staff. The thing that pissed me off was that at one time 4 were at the bar, another 4 in the kitchen, 1 was missing and 1 was wiping the cutlery, leaving me to handle 7 tables (7x4=28 people). When I was in the bar I noticed ants and lifted the sugar and milk jar underliners, turned out that there was a lot more underneath but I couldn't bare to kill them so I left the underliners aside and let them move away, hoping someone else would not kill them before they did. Then there was an order of chicken rice with the customer asking for chicken backside meat with bones, I was like..

Before my 2nd break from 5 to 5.30pm it looked like it was going to rain. As I was eating it did rain and when I went back up there were a lot of customers. There was this group of 8 customers whom I took order for, all familiar faces. The 1st thing the guy said was "can you speak mandarin?" and I answered with a "ke yi". After the food was served he waved at me and asked "da ge ni de ming zi shi she me? bu ke yi yi zhi jiao ni da ge". Fact was that he's several times my age, about 50-60+? Anyway I replied that my Chinese name was "wei jie" and he asked "xing she me? and I said "wang, san zhi wang".

Was kept busy for the rest of the evening and night until I went downstairs to collect 34 cooler boxes from the golf cart area at 7.34pm. I finished in about half an hour and Bernard had merged tables and prepared ice water for the 30+ people who were coming.

They came separately in groups and were only seated at 8+. Bernard and Suhaime took care of their orders while the rest of us continued with normal operations. As I expected there were more people than planned and they merged more tables. I had filled up the ice water container at the station with instructions from Angeline when Bernard asked me to pour ice water for the new tables. Cuz the glasses were at the station, I didn't think of getting ice water from the bar instead and got it from the water container instead, which I had just filled up and would need to fill up again. Guess I was tired to the extent that I wasn't thinking straight already.

When the food began coming out from the kitchen (which got spammed) we had to sort through them before serving to the appropriate tables. The system which Bernard came up with was brilliant, the orders were taken from a few people instead of from everyone, then other than the usual table numbers there was also their names for reference. So we looked for that particular person at the table and asked him or her who to serve to. I thought it would be a big mess but thanks to him things turned out okay.

A regular customer (with his family) had ordered mee goreng takeaway and another coke light. I was helping Bernard with the 40+ people (and was exhausted) so I simply put away the coke light receipt when it came out, thinking I had served it already when I didn't. In the end he was so pissed that Suhaime had to tend to him and apologise, after Angeline had already been told off that he didn't receive the coke light.

For the same reasons, I overlooked the other stations and the already-bad-mood Angeline shouted aloud "hire you for what? stand around then forget the other stations". Sigh, she can complain to all the other staff about my "bad performance" all she wants, cuz I know there are times when I'm more alert and hardworking than full-timers like her.

Earlier at noon Bernard was telling me that his laptop given through subscription of a particular telcom's plan was fixed. The motherboard and lan adapter had been changed and without warranty it would have cost over $800. Then he said about how he had certs in website design, basic programming and another two IT ones from his previous studies back in Malaysia and I told him although I'm studying similar things, I'll only graduate with one cert. He also said that the 1-year e-learning diploma/degree in IT security from a renowned institution was gonna cost him $6000, no idea whether he's gonna leave the restaurant and take it up.

Like I told him previously, since he has interest in and is competent in the IT areas, he shouldn't withhold himself within the restaurant. His reply was that he could always make a few calls and get another IT job, but he was "lazy". In other words I guess he was comfortable in his comfort zone and wanted to remain there since as a captain his pay is higher than regular staff and he does not have to do as much.

Anyway after he declined my offer to help by staying after 9 I went off. As I was walking past Hadi and the other staff (who were waiting for the company bus) he was like "woah don't drive me to Simei, hope you crash". He's good to hang around and work with, always making laughable jokes and relatively hardworking. However that was.. unnecessary.

After more brooding about how I could have chose the Deathadder (which is right hand ergonomically-designed) or Copperhead instead, I finally realised the irony. I had come up with this quote "I am grateful for both the things I have and don't have, are you?" a few days ago. Yet I already have two Razer mice (Krait and Diamondback 3G) but still wanna trade the latter for another. I really shouldn't be asking for so much when people in 3rd-world countries barely have enough food to eat daily.

Shall take good care of my keyboard and mouse and use them till the end of time.

2008-08-29T23:47:00.003+08:00

Thurs, 28 Aug 2008

Woke up at 10+ and studied exam hints lecturer gave. Also played a game of dota before leaving for sch. Reaching early, I kept my mind at peace while the rest continued talking about what might appear, what they studied etc. The paper was 20 marks MCQ and 80 marks open-ended case study. In the end the MCQ could be managed by simply reading through all the slides and the answers to the case study were exactly the hints.

This paper (consisting of 50% of final marks) should be no problem at all. I was worried that things other than the hints might come out as I didn't study the rest at all. When I read the paper during reading time, I smirked as the risk was well-taken.

Throughout the exam someone's phone kept vibrating, calls not sms. Either the caller really wanted to reach that person badly or he was receiving several calls. It continued for over 10 times but fortunately the two lecturers present (one of which taught us the module and gave the hints) did not find out who's phone it was.

Afterwards I went to Comex 2008 at Suntec and as expected it was very crowded. Shall not go into details about the show itself as there're too many.

Anyway, for my sis' friend, I bought a Maxtor 160gb external harddisk at $99. My sis specifically wanted Seagate as her own one is Seagate but I couldn't find them even after walking around in circles several times. So I asked Convergent (who is the supplier for Seagate) and they pointed me in a direction but I still couldn't find them. In the end I went back to the entrance to look at the floor map, turned out that I had walked past Seagate a few times. Seagate had merged with Maxtor and in their banner above it showed the word Seagate in smaller size than Maxtor.

Then I wanted to buy the Microsoft Comfort Curve keyboard and Razer Goliathus mousepad but decided to think about it at home over the next two days (I have to work) and buy on Sunday instead. If I didn't buy my current Razer Krait I would have bought the Razer Diamondback 3G (free Razer Goliathus) with no questions asked. However if I wanted to buy it I would have to sell the Krait off. Not that I don't have enough money, just that it'd be lying around anyway.

As I was walking someone tapped me on the shoulder and it was Gonaidi from my year 1 poly class before the concentration split. He was working for one of the companies (can't rmb which), as were Deon and Ian who were at HP. After a short chat I continued walking and collected more brochures.

Went around Comex for around 2+ hours before going home and got around to calling a sec sch mate whom I consider as a good friend. He was like "are you sure you've called the right number?". We talked a little and decided that we would chat again on Sun as he was having dinner with his family at Bedok.

I brooded over whether or not to buy the keyboard, mouse / mouse + mousepad, soundcard and speakers all night. My final decision was to buy the keyboard and mousepad, not buy the mouse + mousepad as I already have the Krait, wait until Creative has better 2.1 speakers and wait until the drivers for the Creative Titanium series' drivers to stabilise.

---

Fri, 29 Aug 2008

Didn't drive to work today as my dad wanted to use it to go to his friend's place. I was designated stall runner and quickly asked John what condiments to put for each of them - wanton noodle soup/dry, prawn noodle soup/dry, laksa and chicken rice. Eg. Laksa has to be accompanied with sambal chilli and laksa leaves. The chefs at the stall were Elang and another Chinese. I had never spoken to the latter before but after chatting with him I learnt that he's 2 days younger than me. Then again with that mischievous face of his I have no idea whether I should believe him.

The thing about the procelain bowls used is that from the tray, there is no way to take it up to put on the table except to come into contact with the hot porcelain. I had no choice but to get scalded bit by bit with each order..

When I called my sis back (she had miss-called me) she told me she bought the keyboard for me and the mouse + mousepad I wanted. I replied that there were another two mice which cost a bit more and I may have preferred them. Nevertheless I guess I could exchange it on Sunday with the receipt and packaging un-opened.

Shall write about the rest of the day when I get home from work (it's Sat now).

One night in Fuurin.

2008-08-27T23:14:00.002+08:00

Didn't sleep well at all last night for no apparent reason, kept waking up at irregular intervals.

There were few customers for lunch.. until it rained. When the "it's gonna rain" alarm rang, all of us were like "yea we're gonna get spammed!" cuz all the golfers would stop playing and come to the restaurant for a break. True enough we did get spammed and we were all glad it was over by the time the crowd left.

Hadi and Myanmar part-timer A had gone to restock on drinks and other stuff like straws, coffee powder and milk. Poor Hadi had gotten sick last weekend due to the cold weather. The trolley they pushed back was so heavy they could barely lift it up enough to climb the single short step which separates the restaurant and washing area & kitchen. The chefs naturally went to help and eventually managed to by going handle-side in first.

This happens everytime we take stock, I was "fortunate" enough to experience it myself last year when I worked. In fact there was once when the lift (which is supposed to be able to handle 10+ people) didn't gave the weight warning after we pushed it in, but when one of us stood inside it did. In the end we pushed it in, hit the 2nd floor and ran up the stairs from the 1st to 2nd floor to retrieve the trolley again, it was hilarious. Most of the time we ended up unloading the trolley to make it lighter first before pushing it up that irritating step.

Before meal time Pauline told me to be food runner for the night. My instant reaction was "don't want la" cuz depending on the food, it has to be accompanied with condiments such as green chilli, papadum, red chilli, sambal chilli, tartar sauce or calamansi. I didn't know what the respective condiment for each food was and asked Bernard to tell her to get John (a full-timer) to do it instead. Fortunately John was up for it.

As there were few customers for dinner, meaning I had few drink orders too so I stood at the station to help out. Then Suhaime (assistant manager) asked aloud who was the bartender and I said I was, and he told me to stand inside the bar. Come on, it wasn't like I forgot about my drink orders, I still looked back to check the bar counter regularly. Sure I'll go look silly by doing nothing in the bar and standing around since you said so. John was laughing at me by repeating Suhaime's words "go stand in the bar".

This AM is so damn inflexible. The other time he reprimanded Li Xue for helping out in the stations when she was supposed to be up the stairs welcoming customers. What was wrong? We could barely manage and it was only right for her to come back down to help.

Earlier for lunch he mistaked table 14 for 12 and I ended up bringing dessert to the empty table 12. Fortunately I noticed that table 14 had just finished their meal and that the dessert was most probably for them. I served it to them as I was right. He also forgot to enter in "no-ice" with a watermelon juice and the customer rejected it when I served it. William then had to remove the ice before I served it again.

In both cases it wasn't like he was busy taking orders, setting tables or serving items cuz we were the ones doing it. He only did so when all of us were caught up and there was no one else to respond to the customer, so why the mistakes?

Anyway further into the night Fuurin, the japanese restaurant located right beside us was full and Bernard asked me and John to go in to help out. I didn't even know the table numbers while John had worked there for 1+ months before going to Lakes Cafe. He would be going to Pine Valley in early October, the rotation is cuz he's in Singapore for 6 months as part of attachment by tourism course in Philippines. All I did was help clear plates, serve some food (after I learnt the table numbers) and push the full trolley (of used plates to the washing area across Lakes Cafe). Other than that, I remained in the small clearing area most of the night to empty the other staff's tray of collected used plates into the trolley and bin.

I also took two orders, the second one messed up as what the customer was served was not what he wanted, although I wrote down exactly what he had pointed at. Meaning he pointed at A and told me A, then I wrote down A but he thought A was B and rejected A when it was served.

I also found out that one of the full-timers was pregnant when she was bending down to put used plates into the trolley. A chef had asked me to do it instead and said so. She was the one who handled my second order and I had apologised profusely to her about it. On a smaller note, one of the cashiers is pregnant too.

Lakes Cafe itself had few customers for dinner and they were relaxed while me and John remained busy in Fuurin. Near 9 we went back to Lakes Cafe as most of the customers in Fuurin had left and they could handle it already, slacked the rest of the night away before driving home.

We're all getting busier and busier.

2008-08-26T12:28:00.003+08:00

Saturday

Woke up late (at 11+) and decided to go shopping next Sunday instead. Spent the whole noon playing Need for Speed Prostreet to dominate the rest of the races. Managed to unlock the Speed King as well. Summarised Project Management slides into 1 single page to bring to work to study at night as I knew it wouldn't be crowded.

Monday

For work, I was to take care of a station instead of being beverage runner (John was) and I knew I couldn't hide from taking orders, learning how to set cutlery depending on the food (chopsticks + porcelain spoon, fork + spoon, knife + fork or fork only)and settling bills anymore. So I asked Bernard to teach me and he did. Then I also learnt how to place the chicken rice dishes on the eating tray. It's like this:
-------------------
| vege chicken |
|soup rice sauces|
-------------------

The lunch crowd was manageable. Our procedure is this, when customers walk in greet them and guide them to seats, then give them the menu and wait for a while before taking orders by serving them ice water. After taking orders, ask them whether they are members of Laguna National, if so get their card to attach to the order paper (15% discount) and give to a senior to enter into the system (as I don't have the password). Lastly set their cutlery. I kept forgetting the ask whether they are member part after I took orders and had to do so after passing the order paper. Shall remember this when I work again on Wed.

Near evening Bernard predicted that there was going to be a hot barley jug order as he had seen the customers up the stairs. He said that all 10+ times they came to Lakes Cafe previously they ordered the same thing. And Bernard was right. Then there was another prediction of a lady and her son who would order a Ice Lemon Tea and he was right again. Fiona then predicted that the old man who just walked in would order tea and she was right too. These are what I call regular customers.

The 'new' part-timer called Denise from Myanmar was very hardworking (qin lao) as well. I didn't see him at all last week when I started work, but he said he had worked for 3 weeks before.

Other than these dinner was ordinary. I had driven to work again and during the drive home a Mercedes flashed his lights at me for being too slow. Sorry, I can't help it cuz this is all the horsepower my Dong Fong has. If there's one thing I look forward to in 5+ years time, it's to change this Dong Fong to something *I'll choose* and not my dad. Anyway thanks to the distraction I missed my turning lane and almost had to go through my sec sch to get back home (there're shorter routes of course but I only know that detour). It was like this:

The pedastrian crossing was right in front, meaning I had little distance to turn into the -> lane to the right 2 lanes away. Fortunately there was no traffic so once the car in front of me moved, I did the turn. This'll teach me to pay more attention to the road.

Second time someone tried to poach me to work for them.

2008-08-23T21:44:00.007+08:00

After double-checking the route to drive to work last night, I was confident about it this morn and I did drive to work. Might try another route as this one which passes through Bedok and Tanah Merah MRTs simply has way too many traffic lights. I took about 23 mins to get to Laguna National and told the security guard I was a part-timer. I got changed quickly and went upstairs to help at 10.45 instead of the usual 11.10 but fortunately they had enough staff for morning shift and there wasn't much left to do.

During the usual staff briefing with William at 11.15 he said that if any staff wasn't performing well he would not hesitate to remove them. Most of us had the Myanmar part-timer in mind as his Eng isn't good enough to handle orders at all, least to say answer customers' demands.

I had forgotten to remove the dessert receipt and when Li Xue served the longan w/ shaved ice (which another chef made thinking it had not been done yet) it was rejected as the customer already had one (which I served). I haven't apologise to her yet, will do on Mon when I work again.

The fruits for juices were stocked for a few good days as Li Xue had prepared a lot of fruits for juices before Fiona took over as bartender. Fiona seemed unresponsive when I talked to her and I asked her whether she was unhappy or tried. Her reply was that "ren dou you cheng mo de shi hou", meaning that there are times when people are quiet (she was emo-ing).

When the lunch crowd started coming in I went to help clear some plates and accidentally spilled some chicken rice chilli sauce on the table. 1 of the 3 customer's cap placed on the chair was splashed with a bit and the situation wasn't good. I informed the seniors (Bernard, Debbie, Suhaime, William) and went to wash it. The customer said that he wanted a replacement but the F&B manager who was around said that unless it directly stained his belongings we wouldn't compensate him. After some washing with plain water the stain remained and Suhaime advised me to use some soda water but it still didn't work. In the end I resorted to lots of washing detergent and the stains were gone, almost as good as new and I heaved a sigh of relief. After updating the seniors I offered to hang dry the cap until they returned from their golf and it was resolved.

Thanks to the sudden rain and the fact that it was a weekend, the lunch crowd was crazy and I was barely able to handle the drink orders with random people helping. William had to go into the bar to make drinks and let Fiona (who was supposed to be bartender) go out to help. Two staff from Pebble Beach came up to help also, one washed the glasses while another cleared plates.

Time passed quickly as we were very very busy. As I was clearing up plates I overheard Li Xue talking to William, she was almost in tears. What I heard was that she got scolded again and it was the second time. Afterwards I asked Bernard what happened (convinced him I was trustworthy of telling as Hadi and Debbie had told me about their little secret too), I learnt that Suhaime (da fan shu) had told her off for helping the stations when she was positioned up the stairs to receive customers. Then when she replied that she didn't know where the ash trays were when Suhaime asked, she was told off again.

Li Xue and William disappeared soon after and when she came back, her face showed that she cried quite a bit. I find what Suhaime did unreasonable. It was only right that Li Xue helped out in the stations after the lunch crowd came in as she couldn't simply stand upstairs. She, as well as all the other staff could still watch out for incoming customers and receive them. Then we were all so busy that no one could even clear unused ash trays from tables.

I was talking to Michelle and Debbie about this, when I said that Li Xue felt "yuan wang" (wronged in Eng) they both replied at the same time that it wasn't that, she felt "wei qu". After being back for almost a week, I know who the hardworking ones are and who aren't. Like I mentioned in my previous post, Li Xue was the only one who could be bothered to clean the fruit blenders to that extent. She has been nothing short of hardworking either.

Feel like talking to Suhaime about this and getting him to apologise, "bang Li Xue chu kou qi". He can pick on me all he wants after that, I can always find another job. However it may cause more discomfort between them or affect other people so I'll stick to comforting Li Xue.

Even after lunch hours there was a steady flow of customers due to an incoming second round of rain. When it did rain, the cafe almost filled up instantly and people from banquet (3) and pebble beach (2) came up to help again. In my haste I accidentally dropped a fruit juice glass containing hot barley when I knocked my tray into the chicken rice/laksa stall and it shattered into tiny bits. Imagine, a big glass broken into pieces about 5mm each. Ironically the sound of it breaking was soft due to its thickness. I took a while to sweep what I could see up while the rest served drinks.

As I seemed concerned about a particular table's ice cream orders, one of them from banquet (who seemed like a senior) asked me whether I was a captain. I told him no and he said I should go downstairs to work for him instead. This was the second time someone tried to poach me from Lakes Cafe. The first was by a Fuurin Japanese Restaurant (just beside) senior.

Anyway I was concerned as the Caucasians from that table had been very polite and had ordered 2 bottles of white wine (near $100). Hadi poured the 1st bottle and Bernard taught me how to pour the 2nd bottle. White wine bottles is the one which needs ice in the wine stand, red wine doesn't. White wine bottles can be opened simply by turning, red wine has a cork.

Dinner at 5.30+ (instead of 5.15 as there were still a lot of orders) was good. There were whole fishes and friend chicken, other than the usual fruit (watermelon), water (diluted bandung) and vege. I went back up quickly without resting further but they could have managed fine by themselves as the crowd had left.

There was a customer who knew his membership number but didn't bring his card. After checking with the cashier I asked for his IC to verify that the membership belonged to him in order to enjoy discounts. It reminded me that I had lots to know about the restaurant such as customers' cutlery setting for food and condiments when serving.

Then there was a table of 2 male Caucasians, a lady who seemed local but had an accent and their 3 kids (2 boys 1 girl). The kids were running around and I was afraid they would trip and fall, but when the lady wanted them to sit down, they did. This is a good example of still being able to handle kids although they're given the chance to explore and "fa zhan". When the little girl hesitated at walking down the stairs, the F&B manager who had appeared from nowhere and carried her down.

The rest of the night was ordinary and we cleared up quickly. Bernard told Li Xue and Fiona to rest inside the back office as they worked split shifts for the day (6-3, 5-9) and still had split shifts tomorrow. When the clocked was near 9 we all left, me and John were so happy that we weren't working tomorrow, although I'm still supposed to study for my project management exam on Tues.

I had a good drive home and took a little over 20 mins, reaching home at 9.30+ instead of the usual 10.10+.

(1391 words)

I think I saw a smile of proudness on my dad's face when he glanced at me as I was stretching my tired legs.

2008-08-22T22:58:00.004+08:00

(Shall try to be less detailed as I wanna sleep soon.)

Before work, I polished my black shoes using the liquid wax (kiwi) and it started to rain when I was about to head out. So instead of 3 char siew buns which I originally planned to buy and eat for breakfast, I had 3 pieces of bread with homemade kaya instead and played a little Need for Speed until it was time to leave.

At Bedok interchange I realised my black shoes had white patches due to the kiwi so I went to the washroom to wipe it off. Upon reaching Simei I went to Bata in East Point to get shoe padding so that my soles wouldn't hurt from standing and walking too long during work.

At the changing room I re-polished the shoes with black wax this time and put in the shoe padding, it felt much more comfortable. Once in Lakes Cafe, I noticed that there were a lot of plates to wipe dry, the morning shift must have been so busy that they didn't have time even until then. I can't imagine how Li Xue and Debbie survived the morning.

The lunch crowd was manageable until me and the bartender (Li Xue) got spammed with drink orders again. She told me I should call someone for help and she was right, there were orders of 4 coffee + 1 latte + 1 cappuccino and 5 coffee with more to come. In the end the Vietnam part-timer whom I asked to help me only sent a jug of Carlsberg.. William himself had to help make the drinks while I continued serving them until the rest served a few too.

After the lunch crowd left and as we were keep the buffet counter, I learnt that Debbie was taking up a beauty course and her exams were next month. With Hadi also having an interview with another company this weekend, I thought that Lakes Cafe was about to lose more of its better staff.

I asked Bernard and Pauline whether they considered changing jobs to something with better prospects and pay, Bernard said he could do anything and Pauline didn't answer the question directly. I was telling Bernard about the shoe pad I bought at $3 and he said he bought his at $8 from Bata too and it was torn after a single week. Anyway

The fact is that lower-end jobs in the Food & Beverage (F&B) industry like waiters are left for those who can't find the job they want, have little qualifications, are from overseas or just wanna work part-time.

Two people came to repair the waffle-making machine and after changing the circuit board, it still wasn't hot enough to successfully make good waffles. Liang Yong had to scrape off the waffle mix which had stuck onto the pan as the previous chef forgot to spray the non-stick thing. After several hours they're just gonna replace the whole thing. I heard that this brand was recommended by the Managing Director (MD) and thus Rahim (Operations Manager) emphasised that they had better fix it perfectly or replace it totally. I helped Liang Yong (who is from China and knows little English) translate his words to the Myanmar and Indian repairmen.

It started raining during makan time. There was curry chicken, dou ya, hor fun, white brocolli soup, diluted barley and the usual white rice, I considered it above average. I called back Justin (our FYP supervisor) and told him honestly who did work and who didn't. I ended our conversation by stating that if he were to call the rest and if they were honest, what I said would definitely be coherent with them.

The dinner crowd was crazy. There was a single group of 24 people and they got all of us frustrated cuz they ordered food and drinks one at the time instead of together, which would be much easier for us to process. A smart-ass even wanted to move the smoking and non-smoking area divider so that they would have more space. Other than that, when Li Xue sent the food, someone would claim it as his and then another would say so too. That led to her simply leaving it on the table and walking away as there was no way to resolve it with them being so undecisive. She was pretty much screaming to me and Bernard about those people. I comforted her by telling her not to get so worked up over those rich old brainless guys and that they were not worth it.

After the organiser Peter shouted out everyone's golf scores and commending the ones who scored highest, we were glad that the 24 left and cleared their tables quickly. It made me wonder how many of those there were real friends and who were the ones who showed up just to give him face or have a free meal (as he footed the bill).

For the rest of the night there were barely any people and I spent it cleaning the bar after Li Xue went in to tidy the kitchen. She had splashed water into the area underneath the bar counter and there was a big mess flowing out. It really looked like it hadn't been washed for 10 years as there were black pieces of charcoal-like junk, I took a while to wash them out using the pipe. Should've taken a photo as evidence.

Li Xue had washed the fruit blenders thoroughly to the extent that they were almost new with all the stains gone, I applaud her for taking the effort as the rest of the staff who have been bartender, including me can't be bothered as long as they're relatively clean enough.

Today was Swee Kean's last day at Laguna National but she wasn't at Lakes Cafe but another place. I thank her for her patience in teaching me some bartender stuff on Mon and Tues. All the best Swee Kean!

Saw Dean's sister on the bus home and she even sat beside me with her boyfriend. Dean was a good friend I had in lower pri and I still remember how he looked, don't think his sis recognised me though. Two nights ago on the bus home again, I ran into my pri sch classmate for all 6 years Stephanie but we didn't say hi, not sure whether she noticed me as I had turned my head to the side. Another pri sch mate was on the same bus, I think her name's Shu Ping, can't remember exactly.

Apart from the tiredness, it feels good to be a workaholic.

2008-08-21T20:21:00.004+08:00

Didn't post yesterday night as I had to study for Visual Basic exam. In the end I merely ran through my notes, past exam papers and obvious hints which the lecturer dropped and went to sleep after playing a bit of Need for Speed.

Yesterday at work, there was another new part-timer and it was her third day. Rest of the staff included Bernard, Pauline, John, Hadi, Fiona, Li Xue and Debbie. As usual there was a steady flow of drink orders until I got spammed till the extent where even William (the restaurant manager) had to help serve drinks instead of standing around. As compared to last year when I worked, there are a lot lesser Carlsberg jugs and jug of juices nowadays, which is good for all of us.

After the lunch crowd left I talked with Liang Yong, the dessert chef who alternates with Ah Qing (the other fierce chef). I asked him why hadn't he gone to a skincare palour to improve his face's skin condition. His reply was that looks are only superficial, I said that unfortunately looks can mean quite a lot in the society today and he answered that it still depends on your personality. He also enlightened me with this statement in Chinese, 'hao chi jiu chi duo yi dian'. Lemme add another phrase in English, 'and be grateful and appreciative that you have food'.

Anyway, Fiona, Li Xue and Debbie's shift were till 3 only and after they left I kept myself busy in the bar and by helping John fold the cold napkins again. I was ready to go for dinner (and a much needed break to rest my feet) after checking with Hadi that I could go for the 1st break (4.15-4.45pm) when Bernard came back and told me that I would be going for the 2nd break (4.45 to 5.15pm). So John, the part-timer and Hadi went ahead while me and Bernard remained behind.

There were 3 Japnese ladies who shared a ice kachang and had a chendol each. Bernard was chatting with the cashier and I was behind the bar when they took quick steps in walking away without paying and with our glasses. Bernard chased after them and I followed suit, after much confusion as their English was poor, one of them gave her husband's membership number and it was settled.

As I was walking to the canteen I ran into Chester and Brandon, twins whom I used to work with. Chester was like "ehh f*** you" and I replied "f*** you back". I didn't know we were on such good terms that we were greet each other like that. Chester was the one who taught me how to serve drinks (as in straws, coasters, beer pouring etc) when I joined last year. They were working for Furrin tonight as there are buffets on Wed and Thurs.

After I went back to the restaurant, Pauline returned from her split shift (11-3pm, 5-9pm) break and was still trying to remember my name as her nephews were called wei something as well. She told me that her uncle or auntie had 7 boys before they gave birth to a girl and that they now have 10 children.

In the evening the China girl selling mooncakes upstairs from the restaurant waved at me and signaled for me to follow her. As I thought there was a customer who didn't know Chinese, a local one at that. After explaining to her that he was looking for mooncakes without egg yolks and 2 only instead of a box containing 4-6, she went to get 2 snow-skin mooncakes from another place and I chatted with the customer (Hadi was like "oi what are you doing up there"). When she got back the cashier wasn't around and he had to wait again before it was done. He left the mooncakes with me as he was going for a swim and I left them on the bartop. I went out of the bar to attend to a customer and they disappeared.. Hadi had put them in the fridge for me. I added a note saying "DO NOT TOUCH. CUSTOMER'S MOONCAKES" as there were other mooncakes around for staffs' consumption and if someone ate the customer's ones..

After closing the bar with the fact that I didn't break any glasses for the day, I went to the office (behind the restaurant) to slack a little and Hadi and Pauline were there. Hadi asked me how to fix his internet connection. In summary his desktop and laptop were fine, it was the router and he'd have to troubleshoot it by calling Linksys or simply buy a new one.

While walking downstairs to change after we left the restaurant, Pauline shared her tidbits with me and she was saying that she used to eat it often when she was young. Like I said all the minor small talk with other waiters, chefs and dish washers actually mean something to me.

After reaching home my sis let me see Creative' brochure for Comex, which hasn't even been printed yet. A pair of soundcard and speakers seemed like a good bundle, shall consider again during Comex itself.

---

Today, I intentionally went to sch earlier to be able to take my time in walking to the Visual Basic exam venue upstairs Macdonald's and revise. Joshua realised he didn't check his seat number and used his handphone to check it. After logging in (took some time to enter his long password) he couldn't click on the exam schedule link, probably cuz it's a menu extender which uses more complicated coding than HTML. When Ameen arrived he said that his seat number was 133 and I told Joshua mine was 131, so it was highly likely that his would be 132. He also reminded Joshua that he could also use his PSP's wireless. By the time Joshua was done entering his password we could enter the classroom and he ended up asking our lecturer for his seat number.

After several reminders to switch handphones to silent or turn them off someone's handphone still rang, I was like "sigh who is it this time". After someone went up thinking it was his phone as the lecturer picked up his bag but it wasn't, the real 'culprit' owned up and 'turned it off'. After a few minutes the same phone rang again, this time I was like "twice? how smart are you to be in poly?" Things people do (and fail to do) never fail to amaze me.

The paper was easy since I had been paying attention in class all along and done the practicals and tutorials. On the MRT home I called Sharon to cancel my working for them during Comex and told her Zai can replace me if she still needs someone. Then I passed Zai Sharon's number, and Shu Rong's as he had a job lobang as well.

After getting home I played Need for Speed Prostreet all noon, finished off the Grip King and Drag Queen. All that's left is the Speed King and I shall keep trying to break records in order to challenge him. This is gonna take a good while.

I was dozing off while playing and decided to take a nap at 5, with handphone's alarm set at 6. I only woke up at 8, my hand had probably instinctively reached to turn off the alarm like it has for a few times already. This is why I don't turn on the air-con when I have to wake up early for sch or work although I have no problem getting up after I wake up as I don't laze around in bed. The problem is that I might simply oversleep or fall asleep again after waking up and I'm not taking chances, although it only happens once in a blue moon when I'm really tired. Besides, I wanna lower the electricity bill as my desktop must be consuming quite a lot of electricity.

Been taking my own sweet time in blogging after I finished dinner.

And happy birthday to she-who-shall-not-be-named. =)

(this post is 1352 words, the one on 18 Aug is 1829 words long)

A test of endurance.

2008-08-19T23:05:00.006+08:00

Today's staff included the assistant manager whom I had never seen before, Jocelyn, Fiona, Li Xue, Debbie, John (the Philippines guy), Pauline, Swee Kean and a new part-timer (she's named part-time on the schedule). Lunch hours was manageable thanks to Li Xue, John and Debbie who took the initative to help me serve some drinks and desserts. Pauline and Jocelyn had to remain in their stations and Swee Kean was the bartender. The part-timer didn't help even though she walked past several times, but I didn't blame her cuz she was new after all. In fact if she helped she might have gotten scolded by one of the seniors for helping to serve drinks instead of tending to her station.

The fierce dessert chef was not around today and I made friends with the China chef who was replacing her for the day quickly. I told him that I didn't even dare to ask the other chef to cut watermelons to make juice (it's their job) as I was (or am) kinda afraid of her.

There were two chefs in charge of the Laksa and Chicken Rice stall, let's call them Indian A and Chinese B. Indian A initiated a conversation with me when he was at the bar to wash something, we chatted about where we were from and when we started work. Chinese B approached me to ask about what an sms written in English from his girlfriend meant. These actions may seem ordinary but they meant quite a lot to me, that I still have the capability of making friends.

Wasted the time between lunch and makan time reading newspaper behind the counter. I sat on the unused trolley as my soles were really aching, probably cuz of my black shoes which have un-cushioned soles. Then I helped John fold 99 napkins while he twisted them dry after soaking them in ice water. I was like "ehh take a break your hands might get frostbite" but he simply continued, what a guy. When I worked last time we gave packet wet tissues instead of these cold napkins. I don't get it, why did the management change to this when it takes more effort? Need to wash them, soak in ice water before folding and then put into the fridge.

After makan time I took my time to set up the bar for dinner (better than standing around if I finish too quickly). I had taken the opportunity before the lunch crowd came in to ask Swee Kean some questions and refresh my memory about the role as bartender. As expected (and as I hoped) there were few customers for dinner. Distracted, I broke another 2 beer glasses (I had broken 2 yesterday) and went to tell the assistant manager, he was like "okay noted". Again before 8 the bar was ready to be closed after a constant flow of drink orders, glass washing etc.

Before makan time Swee Kean pointed at the bar and told me to take care of it as she had to go to Range Cafe. Pauline was standing in the direction which she was pointing and I thought out loud that she told me to take care of her. In the end this helped to break the ice between me and Pauline as we had always minded our own business when we worked together previously. Cuz while waiting for the clock to hit 9 she randomly told me about how her phone had fell into the toilet bowl and it was still working after taking it apart to dry. She even exclaimed that she hadn't even taken off her skirt/pants yet.

One more thing, before Debbie left at 3 she looked at me with a glass of grass jelly in hand. She said that I had given the thinner straw instead of the thicker straw which was more appropriate for grass jelly. So I laughed that no wonder the customer didn't finish the grass jelly, he probably got tired of trying to drink it through the straw. More bluntly, he simply couldn't suck the grass jelly through the straw.

Will you still hold my hand when it's roughened from working?

2008-08-18T22:50:00.012+08:00

*long boring post as it's a recollection of my first day being back at work, emo part quite far below (and short)*

Woke up early so that I could take my time in preparing. After washing up I polished my shoes quickly, showered and went to the market for breakfast (minced meat noodles), didn't even wax my hair cuz it looked alright to me. On the bus and MRT to Simei I listened to music using my Muvo TX FM (which I've had for like over 5 years and it still works fine), the minimum volume's 1 and it was kinda loud.

After reaching Simei I looked around for familiar faces so as to not miss the company bus to Laguna National Country club. Upon reaching, I waited for the slow security guard to fill in the part-time forms and greeted William, the restaurant manager. When I went to get the uniform, the auntie recognised me and I briefly explained that I was back in sch so I couldn't work before heading to the changing room. Inside, I exchanged looks with 2 guys wearing the same uniform and proceeded to change. Had to ask Bernard, 1 of the captains how to tie the apron as I had forgotten completely.

Once upstairs at Lakes' Cafe, I said hi to staff whom I had worked with when I was working last year like Debbie, Swee Kean, Sze Yun and Fiona, the 2 guys from earlier were also there. Fiona told me that the 2 guys were from Myanmar and Phillipines and that they had been working for 1-2 months already. After a briefing by William, Bernard explained to me what was new since I had left such as the buffet and new menu. Glad that Jocelyn (another captain, an intimidating 1) was not around today, I chatted with the rest before the crowd came in and served drinks. Fortunately the pace was constant and manageable, unlike weekends where we'd usually get spammed with orders to oblivion.

There was a commotion about the visible tornado/hurricane/twister in the distance where the seas are. I so wanted to take a picture with my handphone but I couldn't. William even said that they had appeared for a few times already. After it disappeared it rained and Swee Kean joked that my re-appearance had caused it.

Lunch hours were quickly over and I kept myself busy by taking over Swee Kean's position as bartender (as she had to go to Range Cafe) to wash the glasses, make drinks etc, then I refilled the fridge and wiped the tables and chairs etc until it was time to makan at 4.15. By then I was already very tired and humourously thought that I might not be able to last through the night. I walked down with the Myanmar guy and chatted a little with him. After filling up my stomach with just enough resources (as the black pants which used to fit nicely now felt tight) I went back upstairs with Swee Kean's meal. Fiona then brought me to Range Cafe where Swee Kean was to pass her her meal. On our way back we commented that the cars around were expensive ones like BMW, Mercz and Lexus, it's a country club after all.

I was still nursing the headache I had, probably from the loud music earlier and from the fact that I had not worked (long hours of standing and walking) for a long time even after taking panadol from Bernard. Fortunately, he let me be the bartender and I was thankful that I didn't have to walk so much while stretching my legs behind the bar. Although I knew what the bartender had to do as I used to always serve drinks, I had never actually taken up the position until tonight. There was a constant stream of orders until I got spammed with jugs of beverages. Running out of watermelon for watermelon juice, I asked Bernard to ask the fierce dessert chef (a woman) to cut more. She always had a straight face last time, and she was still the same. After re-emphasising that she wasn't gonna cut anymore after it was finished I continued making the drinks.

The barrel of Carlsberg ran out and Fiona replaced it for me (as I dunno how to attach the connector to it). I noticed that the new Carlsberg took a while to flow and knew something was wrong. True enough even after 2 half-jugs of foam there was still a lot of foam, which wasn't supposed to happen and it couldn't be served like that. Bernard helped me again by using another way to fill the jug up (unexplainable in words).

By 7.30 the crowd was almost gone and by 8 the bar was almost ready to be closed after washing the 2 blenders, washing and returning all the glasses, wiping the surfaces, taking out the ice, refilling the hot water, returning milk and milk jars to the fridge etc. Fiona had told me what to do and cleaned the coffee machine etc.

Then exactly at 8.30 where we would not be accepting orders anymore, 2 Japanese ladies and 4/5 children came in. Bernard decided to accept them anyway and the Philippines guy took their orders. I rushed to serve their drinks and helped Fiona in serving the food. The kitchen floor was wet as the cleaners was washing it and we were careful so as to not tripping. I carried the tray to the door and she took it from there.

A guy arrived and joined the Japanese group, maybe he's the husband of the 2 ladies? Anyway the children were all playing Nintendo DS and I told Fiona that they cost over S$200 each. He asked whether the golf course would be open tomorrow and Fiona explained that it would be closed as they had to do maintenance. The guy footed the bill with a voucher (taken out from a booklet of vouchers) and another S$50 note. Then he stood up and went all the way to the fridge to order takeaway drinks but I told him that the cashier was closed already and we were unable to accede to his request.

At 8.55 we were almost ready to leave and the Philippines guy had already left. Suddenly Bernard, Fiona, 1 of the 2 cashiers and the Myanmar guy were stacking up chairs. I went to help immediately and found out that they were washing the floors the next day. After finally finishing we all quickly went down to change to catch the company bus back to Simei.

I couldn't help but listen to Secondhand Serenade's songs on the journey home (which was loud) and mimed along. It got me thinking.

Why did I choose to work when I could have chosen to remain at home to play Need for Speed or DotA? Was the tiredness (and headache) worth the S$5.50 an hour?

In the end, I realise that there are people without jobs and I should be thankful that I can work to earn some money during this holidays. Not like I need to when I have enough savings at home to buy the things I wanna buy - Razer mousepad, Creative 2.1 speakers and a new chair from IKEA. I also realise that this is nothing compared to what I would be facing in National Service (NS), it would be much much tougher, even if I were to be excused from the physically-demanding platoon.

Sze Yun's hands had roughened from the constant contact with water while she was bartender last year. Today my hands were wet most of the time too as I had to frequently wash the glasses. Think I'll bring my own pair of gloves to wear when I'm bartender.

"Will you still hold my hand when it's roughened from working?"

This is life.

2008-08-15T23:29:00.003+08:00

1) On Wed or Thurs, I overslept on the MRT back home from project meeting and alighted at Bedok instead of Eunos. As I was walking to the buses I saw a few salespeople and intentionally hid behind another group of guys to avoid them. Unfortunately I was stopped anyway by a salesgirl and I was like okay I'll answer your questions or whatever. Her questions were (in order): 'are you working or studying?', 'oh studying where?', 'do you have a habit of saving?', 'oh next year ns, can you give me your contact number so that I can contact you when you're out about our plans?'. Anyway I did give her my contact number (no other purpose other than to help her out) and I continued home.

2) On Thurs night when I was polishing my black shoes I finally figured out the trick. No thanks to my dad who told me to apply thick layers, I realised that for this kinda shoes the shoe polish can't be too thick, else it'll crack for sure.

3) On Thurs noon in the MRT I got around to calling William, the manager of Lake's Cafe in Laguna National at Simei to ask him whether I could go back and work, the answer was yes and for next week I'll be working on all days from 11-9 except on Thurs (exam + someone's birthday) and Sunday (rest day). The last semester for my diploma starts on 13 Oct, meanwhile I should be able to earn more than $1500. I just don't wanna slack at home, although I could and there would be no objection.

4) In addition I'll also be working for Creative at Comex 2008. It's a big step for me as I really don't like crowds and bright lights (I have a poor complexion, need I say more?). I asked for a transfer from the Vado section to anything else as I would prefer the latter. If I don't get a transfer when they call me back next Mon I might just withdraw and work at Lake's Cafe.

4) Today after I boarded the bus towards Eunos and sat down, there was a loud sound of glass shattering and then the female bus driver (auntie-type) started shouting in Chinese. She then stood up and started exclaiming that the bus couldn't move anymore, that she'd give us a ticket to have a free bus ride within 1 month period and to tap our EZ-link card before alighting. The thing is, she shouted in Chinese and then talked to the Malay women in Malay, but not in English. Anyway when it was my turn I didn't look at the driver's seat to see exactly what happened, I should have as I'm still curious until now. When she explained to the office about it and to the next bus driver which arrived, she said that the handbrake broke. How does the handbrake break? How did it break until it was like a glass bottle was just shattered? I don't get it until now.

FYP OVER! faints

2008-08-12T19:47:00.010+08:00

Our FYP presentation was finally over yesterday. We were asked several questions by the client and the two lecturers who were grading us, I feel that those questions would not have been asked if we had worked together to do the project.

My thoughts:
- Joshua worked on the administration function alone and he did an amazing job, even though some extra functions are redundant and basic ones were ignored instead. I sent him an sms after we left saying "good job dude, really".
- Ameen did the payment and enquiry alone and I guess due to other dedications such as his girlfriend and CCA he was distracted to a small extent.
- Clement.. doesn't know how to lead a project group at all. He allowed the two slackers to slack their way through.
- The two slackers knew they could get away with not doing much for the project and they really barely did anything. These kinda people have no conscience.

What I've done for FYP in phase 2: sort through 1214 products to get 150, resize and resave them, upload them, update the database with their values, create the page generator to display them and make multiple visits to the shop itself to discuss things with the client.

So then again, who am I to comment when I only did my part for the project and then kept quiet?

Anyway we're all glad it's over. Now we can move on to finish the Project Management report and study for exams. Then let 6 weeks worth of holidays begin!

Before the presentation two other groups of people were in the lab, one was quiet while the other was noisy. In the latter one of them, Jer was from my secondary sch so I told them we were having FYP presentation and asked them to leave the lab first. Then this fat guy who is taller than me asked me what sch I was from. The conversation was like this:

Me, "Hey Jer, can you all leave the lab first? We're having FYP presentation."
Fat guy, "Which sch are you from?"
Me, "Does it matter?"
Fat guy, "We're doing FYP project also. Which sch are you from?"
Me, "Diploma in Business IT, shared between the previous SMIT and SB. Does it matter?" *walks off*
Fat guy, "Why so fierce? Like want to fight."
Me, "Fight with you? Waste my time."
Fat guy, "Cuz you'll lose what."

1) Why the heck did he ask what sch I'm from? Isn't it obvious I study in SP as well, that's why I'm having a Final Year Project presentation? If he meant my sec sch, I sure can call friends from there to deal with him.
2) Yea I felt like punching him. The second time I've ever felt like hitting someone. It's okay, I never thought of actually doing it, only had the feeling. He's so not worth it.
3) This fat guy's a perfect example of "all brawn no brains" and how stupid and idiotic people can be.

Thanks for making my day, fat guy, I enjoyed laughing it off after you left.

My nose feels like it has been sandpaper-ed.

2008-08-10T00:25:00.002+08:00

Once I woke up I instantly got around to re-organising the wires of my computer, wiping the surfaces and pushing the cabinets back in. It looks great now, all neatly cable-tied together.

I knew my sensitive nose was gonna react to the dust, what I didn't expect was that my running nose would become a full-blown 'heaty' break-out. It got so bad that my upper gems were aching near evening. When my family came home from Tampines Giant with panadol for cold/flu relief and I felt better soon after taking two. After all the tissues my nose feels like it has been sandpaper-ed.

Yesterday night, I couldn't help but watch the Beijing Olympics 2008 opening. I was amazed at the choreography, creativity, design, technicalities and how much effort had been put in, not to mention the amount of money. I can't explain it here, if you watched it or have looked at pictures I'm sure you'd think the same way, it was just remarkable.

I also had another thought that China hosting the 2008 Olympics all the more confirms their entrance into the global market. Sure, some businesses know about China's potential and have made use of it but after this, even more businesses will do so. It's gonna be an interesting road ahead for China. It has so much potential.

Singapore's National Day Parade 2008 this year was good as well, there was creativity and uniqueness. It brought out the Singaporean spirit, as to whether the spirit is in Singaporeans, that's another story. Anyway, after the move from National Stadium to Marina Bay I can't see the fireworks from my flat anymore, too bad. The planes used to fly right across as well, but now they're as small as ants in the distance, better than nothing I guess.

In the middle of the day I received an sms from Clement saying that we're gonna have a FYP rehearsal tomorrow (Sunday). I really wonder about how serious the rest of the members are now as the presentation is on Monday. No thanks to the two slackers, I ended up doing some things myself like removing unnecessary files, changing pics to jpg to reduce file size, making a 250kb intro pic to replace the 2.5mb one which changes every few secs, correcting punctuation and formatting text.

I can't wait to see how far their "professionalism" and attitude can get them when they enter the industry. Oh wait, one wants to be a teacher (LOL) and the other's gonna return to Indonesia where he'll be spoonfed by his family again. Right.

2008-08-07T22:34:00.003+08:00

I know I haven't posted the last few days. Anyway here are the more interesting things that have happened:

I bought my 1gb Imation thumbdrive from Sim Lim a few months ago at $10+. Almost lost it once by leaving it in a lab (written in previous post). So a few days ago when I didn't bring my pouch (which I usually do to carry handphone, mp3 & thumbdrive), I left it in my pocket. Even after a mental note to take it out when I got home, I still forgot. It was only when my mom gave it back to me after it had gone through a near 30 mins wash in the washing machine. It didn't work and my reaction was "okay I'll just redo the work I had done this morn". Surprisingly after two days it works just fine again! Support Imation!

I met up with the FYP client and his wife told me she wanted only 12 products for each category so as to protect secrets of the business. At night I sorted through the 336 to get 150 products and reworked the page generating algorithm. I wasn't pissed at all that she didn't say so in the first place, it's only right that we meet the client's demands anyway. If it was any of my other group members, they probably would have reacted in another way.

Pasar malam! Have had Ramly burger almost everyday since they started last Sat, today's (Thurs) the last day. Takoyaki, shark's fin soup, siew mai, seaweed chicken, the list goes on! Business for them seems good, especially for the food stalls.

SP gives $7.50 to each student to spend each semester - on BBQ, chalet, movies, food etc. I'm the only one under the Project Management lecturer (Calvin) while my group members are under the FYP supervisor. So me and Calvin went for a buffet at the staff's lounge. It was not bad for a restaurant located inside a poly, there were quite a lot of people too. I knew what I could talk to Calvin about - the teaching career. What I learnt is that to teach pri or sec sch, NIE's 2 year course with monthly allowance is the way to go. To teach ITE or higher, a degree is definitely necessary. The degree itself would take another 3 years, with exemption for a period of time depending on affiliated subjects which had been taken. Eg. Diploma in IT students could take their related degree using only 2 years.

For now I'm aiming to teach pri or sec, meaning I'll have to go to NIE. If I decide to aim higher I'd have to take a degree in order to teach poly or ITE and looking at my family's financial status I definitely would have to think properly. Most probably would have to take it part-time in order to work in the day to pay for it. Calvin suggested that if possible I could take it while in NS, as I'll probably not be in the main pes anyway.

A lunch at 5-star hotel.

2008-08-03T17:56:00.002+08:00

Yesterday noon was the birthday girl Ada's celebration at Scott's Lounge, Hyatt Hotel. After meeting JC on time, we waited for an appropriate time to go in as she was still entertaining the people who just entered. We gave her the present and talked a bit before settling down. It was silly, me and JC didn't know whether we could sit around that area or had to go to the lower platform so we stood around for a while before actually sitting. Then when a waiter came to ask for drinks we were worried she might think we're there as normal customers instead of under Ada's buffet and charge us the buffet price so we didn't order immediately. We did get around to getting ourselves coffee and tea before helping ourselves to the buffet.

The environment was.. high-class and.. awkward. The other guy (Dr Wang in early 20s) and couple who sat with us were either graduates from medicine or were already doctors, and the rest were from her sec sch RJC. Me and JC are both in poly and fortunately I can get along with him so we mainly chatted within ourselves until Dr Wang broke the ice by asking about the programming languages we were studying. The conversation continued with JC talking about food while I kept quiet and maintained a mild smile.

I'm not a food connoisseur at all, I can be very content with eating similar food everyday cuz after all, there are people in the world who can't even fill their stomachs. However I knew enough that the food there was good. I can't remember the exact names but there were salad, crepe, chocolate fountain (with strawberries, marshmellows, cookies), sushi, salmon, beef, sandwiches and several desserts like cheesecake. In the end me and JC felt so full even though we ate little as we sat on couches, not regular chairs.

After a birthday cake and song by the waiters (arranged by Ada), we continued chatting. The couple left soon after and I asked Dr Wang about my condition. He couldn't tell me much as he didn't major in heart and my condition is kinda unique. JC also asked about his wrist which he has injured from badminton over time.

We stayed till 5+ before Ada had to leave and walked around Orchard with JC. The bus was damn crowded, fortunately I had a seat at the last row after some time. Upon getting home I bought two packets of sotong takoyaki and shark's fin soup from the Pasar Malam which will last till Thurs. Gotta eat Ramly burgers when I pass by again. Spent the rest of the night slacking, in preparation for the work which I was to do today.

Today, I woke up at 9+ and played a bit of Need for Speed (NFS) Prostreet before reminding myself that I had to get started on the FYP documents which would be due Wed. I realised music was gonna be a distraction so I turned it off and after a short mental block, I finished the first drafts.

When I was about to shower, I saw my parents and sis returning from Malaysia from the window. I realised that my dad was slightly balding. At that moment I did feel a tinge of pain, for I have been very much selfish in my thoughts and previous post. Thus, I would like to emphasise now on the part where I said "he's alright compared to other dads who have done worse things". I return to this quote thought by myself, "they have not been an ideal family, but they have been a good family". I really thought too much yesterday.

Anyway I shall try to concentrate on the projects and upcoming exams and try to abstain from NFS Prostreet temporarily. Notice the words "try".

2008-08-01T14:14:00.005+08:00

While I was driving my mom home from work she told me my dad wanted to go into Malaysia this weekend to pick up his stuff from the fish farm where he used to work. She also said that if I didn't want to go she and sis would go instead. My face instantly became angry and upset, I admit.

Dad, why have you only decided to do this now when you quitted long ago in early March? Why only now when I'm going to be busy with project and exams are near? It doesn't take a genius to know that I'm expected to go instead of my mom and sis.

Yea, he's working hard at his current job where he drives people to wash up fast-food restaurants and supervises them. The working hours are like 6pm to 6am, I know it's tough. Other than this where he's working hard, what else I can learn from him? How to become an addict in smoking and drinking? His stubbornness? How disappointing he has been?

Fine, he's alright compared to other dads who have done worse things. It's just that at times I get really pissed off from thinking about this, like now. I keep thinking about how selfish he was when he chose this Dong Fong vehicle instead of a Perodua Kenari who cost $5K lower at that point in time.

He said it was so that 2nd sis, bro-in-law and my nephew could sit together with us when we go out instead of driving their own. Now? They've barely come to this home at all after getting their maid as they can now leave my nephew with her instead of my mom here. 2nd sis is another issue I'm upset with. I can tell you I will only speak to her in the future regarding the debt she owes my mom - $3K. Is it that difficult to put aside a few hundred a month from you and your husband's combined pay of $4K (after income tax) to return in installments? She also wanted my elder sis to pay for my $20+ phone bill instead, can't afford $20+? Fine, I'll pay for it myself, I don't want to owe you anything in the future. In fact I don't want a sis like you. Yes, I've thought it through and through before saying this.

Continuing on the Dong Fong subject, he also said that it was so that we could transport something bigger if we wanted. Now? The only time we've used it for that purpose was when 2nd sis wanted to transport standing hangers, and she didn't even have the courtesy of giving us a little money back for petrol.

He said the engine power would be okay. Now? No matter how hard I try to speed up its moving off from a stationary position, people always overtake me and cast glares. Other cars with lower capacity do a lot better than it.

Dad, it was supposed to be for me to drive to school, which part of the decision considered me? As I said, the Perodua Kenari I wanted was $5K cheaper and would require less petrol due to it having a smaller engine capacity. Why did you choose this Dong Fong instead?

It was all because of his selfishness that I have to take up the responsiblity of his decision now. The happiness in knowing that I was going to get a vehicle all disappeared in an instant when he chose the Dong Fong. Other than me washing it every two weeks, it simply sits downstairs everyday to endure the hot sun as I don't drive it to school, I only use it to drive my mom to and from work. Why should I frustrate myself over driving it to school when I had no part in the decision.

Yes, I should be very happy I have something to drive around. Do you think I'm happy now? In the very first place, I told my dad I wanted a 2nd-hand car which would be scrapped in 2-3 years after the COE expires. In fact I wanted and could work to pay for it totally by myself, I had a job vacancy back at Laguna National's Lakes' Cafe in Simei where I used to work.

Dad, which part of your decision with mom to isolate yourselves from all our relatives considered me and sis inside? I have 10+ uncles and aunties (their brothers and sisters) and 20+ cousins whom I wouldn't know even if I see them on the street. This year's Chinese New Year consisted of visits from our old neighbour and 2nd sis, that's all.

Life is really unfair, of all people I should know. Other than what has been mentioned here, there are so many other things which I have gone through, are going through or will be going through. Why is this happening to me when I'm not someone who pollutes the environment, not someone who wastes food, not someone who mistreats animals, not someone who spends money like water, not someone who has ever done badly in exams, not someone who has let his parents down, not someone who ignores the elderly by not giving up their seat in the bus or MRT, not someone who doesn't donate to people on the streets. Why can't I be healthy too?

I once thought that if someone else has to go through this, let it be me instead of him or her. I don't regret thinking that way a single bit, it's just that it gets so tough at times.

2008-07-31T20:53:00.003+08:00

I found out about Cabal through a full-page Newpaper ad during attachment to Creative. I started playing Cabal soon after that as I felt that I needed a MMORPG-game whereby I can train and maintain a character unlike DotA. After all I had grown up playing MMORPG games. Given that my laptop was 2 and 1/2 years old at that point in time, it can be known that the graphics card was barely good enough to even run it. However I stuck to it and kept playing.

This was when I bought my desktop after two weeks of research and decision-making, with the main purpose of playing Cabal in mind. I quitted Cabal after I reached level 120+ and had upgraded my equipments. I was bored but satisfied and wanted to move on. Throughout my Cabal life, I was in this guild called STORM, led by Wes (2five6).

There was a guild BBQ at Sembawang which Wes organised and me, Zai and Jason (my classmates who were also playing Cabal and in the guild) were there. It was lots of fun although there were barely any food due to a weak fire caused by bad charcoal, we talked a lot of crap with the other guild members.

Anyway the main topic (finally) is that in all the MMORPG games I've played, I have never given out my characters or items after quitting. Although the game may be uninstalled already I still have the usernames and passwords.

A few days ago when Wes sms-ed me early in the morning while I was in the train to sch, he said "ehh you don't play cabal liao right? donate items leh". My instant reaction was.. "okay lemme change password then sms you again". When he replied that the username and password were okay, it signified my first step to gaming less. Furthermore at night I passed my username and password to another good friend whom I got along very well with in Cabal, Ellusion.

Being already 19 years old, there has got to be better things to do than play so much games, right?

---

Spent most of my time today at sch trying to figure out the file upload for FYP website. After Clem taught me how to configure the new .jar libraries, I managed to do a local upload as well, meaning the algorithm and engine was working fine but I couldn't upload to the host either. Before I left sch I sent an email to W3Hub (the web host) asking what do I put as the directory.

Surprisingly they had replied by the time I got home and I tried the directory they gave. It worked! I quickly informed the rest of the group. But (there's always a but) my coding only works with FireFox 2+ and a small add-on. At least now we have a backup plan, something which to fall back on, instead of nothing at all, although something which works with FireFox version 3+ and other browsers would of cuz be most ideal. Hope Josh, Ameen and Clem's one will not have these boundaries, now that I've resolved the directory problem and that the other two will get their act straight and finish editing the web pages professionally.

I'm finished with the Visual Basic assignment as well and it's considered ready for submission, just need to show it to Josh and Ameen to resolve a un-noticeable bug and do the Help form.

Looks like there won't be much DotA for the remaining few days until projects and exams are over. I'm glad about this actually.

A birthday present for my friend.

2008-07-30T21:53:00.004+08:00

Going to Ada's birthday celebration at Hyatt Hotel this Saturday, for those who dunno, it's a 5-star hotel located around Orchard Area. Yea, she's rich and good at studies. She's studying medicine London.

Woke up at 10 after a nice dream and went to meet my other friend, JC at Orchard MRT at 12.30. The 3 of us used to work together at Summerhouse in Pac Pacific and I had introduced JC in. The present-hunting began at Wheelock Place. It wasn't about the price, her family's so rich she can already have anything she wants.

In the end we settled for a pen with an engraving of Ada's full name and a name-card holder which are bundled together at the price of $38. We had to call her to ask for her full name and whether she was a left-hander or right-hander, hope she won't be able to guess what it is until she opens it on Sat. We both liked it, it's meaningful and practical, it's something she can keep with her and use in the future as a doctor. And most of all, it's far from our budget!

JC, take care of your wrist, don't let it become worse. See ya on Sat.
(although he doesn't know about this blog)

After getting home I spent the rest of the day doing Visual Basic. It's completed to the extent that it's almost ready for submission now, just need to finish up and let Josh and Ameen take a look.

One word. Stress.

2008-07-29T22:11:00.003+08:00

Met with Josh and Ameen to work on Visual Basic and received a little help from the lecturer who was there coaching another person. We made progress, at least now I can continue on it while they work on FYP. After lunch I continued working on it but got stumped again as the radio buttons were not being overwritten properly.

During FYP meeting with our supervisor he was obviously unhappy that we haven't got the administration up, template finalised or file upload done. Perhaps I'm at fault, for not helping them after I finished my product display and other miscellaneous stuff. To me, the allocation of the amount of work we have done is: me 30%, Josh 45%, Ameen 15%, Clem 10% and the other two 5% each. Yes, I'm pissed that the two have barely put in any effort, that's why I'm slacking. The thing is, I don't feel guilty, I even grinned slightly several times when the supervisor questioned us.

Why? As group leader Clem has not done a good job in pushing us, setting deadlines and forsee-ing problem. I had been the one who quietly wrote emails of work to do and deadlines. He's alright actually, just not the leader type. I guess he still hasn't recovered from slacking in June, where his reasons for being missing in action were more than valid. I'd say I could have done a better job, but I chose not to take up leadership positions after graduation from sec sch and when I did again for Year 1 Orientation, look what happened.. I got backstabbed.

As for the other two, just look at their results.

The Visual Basic lecturer walked past after our meeting and I asked him about the radio buttons, he said it can't be done and he had tried it before himself. I'll stick to the simpler and more direct way then.

(this is the part where someone spammed me on msn)

After getting home and surfing, I did a little research on file upload for the FYP website but gave up as there were simply no direct answers. Spent the rest of the night playing DotA with Kenneth and his friends, lost 1 won 1. The 1st game was lost all cuz a noob had left our team and our hero combination was bad. For the 2nd game, we were losing as 1.5 out of 3 of our raxes had gone down and they had farmed a lot more than us. Eventually we caught up thanks to 3 Roshan trips and them not pushing. With our superior item builds we managed to turn the tables when they lost the fight outside their tower at mid lane. As I thought, the win or lost depended on who made a big mistake first. It ended at 88 mins, one of the best games I have had in my 2.5 years of DotA.

I doubt whoever reads what I just said about DotA won't understand it, it's more for me to remember. =)

Behind every great man are greater friends, keep walking.

2008-07-28T20:17:00.004+08:00

I find this advertisement inspirational and unique. I can't explain it here, you have to watch it yourself to understand. http://www.keepwalking.asia

On the MRT after City Hall there was this traditional auntie and her rebellious 4-7 years old son. There were seats for both of them but he refused to sit and it was rather dangeous for him to stand around without holding on to or leaning against anything.

She told him about the MRT traffic lights (are there?) to get him to sit. After which he became rowdy again and she threatened to cancel their trip to Expo with his aunt. Through the phone, she said spiteful things like "aunt, we'll leave after he falls asleep at home, okay?". After the call he wanted to stand around again and she held on to his shirt, making him scream and whine. He calmed down only when I alighted, can't remember what she did.

In the first place why was he so rebellious and rowdy? From my point of view at that moment, his mom's hoarse voice and fierce tone had made him irritated, she did not explain to him why she wanted him to sit down, all she did was shout "sit here! sit here!". He also realised that threatens (like cancelling the trip) usually don't happen and thus don't fall for them anymore.

There are a lot of other reasons, probably the same reasons why my nephew is rather rebellious against his parents (my 2nd sis and bro-in-law). Good examples of what shouldn't happen when raising children.

Busy busy busy!

2008-07-27T19:30:00.002+08:00

I'm supposed to be busy, but I'm not. FyP presentation, EssP report, EssP test, VBas assignment, PM test, PM report and IrHP test.. =O

Oh dear.. I'm gonna become stressed and get a migraine then I'll become bedridden for a few days and be unable to do anything thus fail everything and repeat the year then my parents will be angry and take away internet access to make me study but I'll be upset instead and spend lots of time in lan shop while telling them I'm at the library and when they find out I'll be punished so hard I run away from home..

Nah, not gonna happen. I'll try to pull myself together to get this semester over and done with.

Don't Give Up.

2008-07-26T23:43:00.002+08:00

Today's blog title is dedicated to someone. There's only so much I can advise you using how much I understand your situation and my personal experiences, I cannot choose your path but I will try my best in guiding you towards the right one with an informed decision. You're always welcome to talk to me.. unless Singapore's telecommunications (phone, internet, fax) is down of course.

2008-07-25T22:51:00.002+08:00

First Friday lesson of the semester! I skipped all the rest as these Project Management lessons are only 1 hour and I dislike the module (as do most of my class). It's not the lecturer, the module is just too technical. Thinking that it started at 8.30, I reached at 8 to avoid the MRT crowd. Then I called my classmate to confirm the venue and he told me it was at 9! Stoned the hour away in the computer lab browsing hardwarezone and stomp.

Was barely listening in class, only looked up to read lecture slides while playing a silly online game. When the same classmate took out his PSP, we talked about how developers of PSP, Windows, Photoshop and other software always try their best in preventing cracks but the efforts are always futile. Who purchases software nowadays when cracked versions are all over the place? =\

After playing a bit of Metal Slug on my friend's PSP I set off to The Cathay to watch The Dark Knight with "she-who-shall-not-be-named". I reached at 11.50 and while waiting outside the lan shop where I wanted to spend the waiting, I noticed that the sky was getting darker. So I went downstairs to the 7-11 to check whether it sold umbrellas and they did (do). Fortunately the rain stopped by the time she arrived and I saved $5. =X

We walked around the gift shops in Plaza Sing to buy a present for her friend. You owe me $0.10! We entered the theatre early and were saying that there were barely any people, and nearer to the start the upper half filled up.

The Dark Knight is without a doubt, movie of 2008. All the puns worked out extremely well, the storyline is perfect, the graphics are superb and the actors are of cuz amazing. Heath Ledger's performance was definitely out of the ordinary as well.

We left soon after the movie. I apologise again =X for forgetting lunch cuz like I said, I'm used to forgo-ing meals.. sorry! We chatted a bit more until we got to the MRT and parted.

(A lot of details have been left out.. =P)

What do you belive in?

2008-07-24T21:46:00.002+08:00

Another boring day, skipped the 2 hour Human Resource lesson and woke up at the same time I'd have gotten home. Played dota before heading out to pick up my mom from work. More dota and slacking after getting home until now.

It never fails to amaze me how idiotic dota players can be. There was one who kept lagging until he disconnected, okay.. he has his reasons for not being able to afford a better computer. Another who didn't know how to play at all, okay.. everyone was a newbie once. As least nowadays I'm able to laugh it off when the game is lost for different reasons, unlike during times in the past where I ended up getting pissed off.

Take care.

2008-07-23T20:34:00.004+08:00

A recent pic taken last weekend after bathing Lily.. so cute right? I mean.. Lily. I've had her since pri 2 and there's just so much to talk about her. I don't post pics with myself at all, but I really like this pic.

I can't think of a better way to describe this except in Singlish, "so stupid lar!" This morning, I knew it was gonna rain and I still chose to wear a new thin shirt out, thinking the jacket I brought would be enough. Ended up with a running nose again in the classroom.

Didn't have enough time to squeeze in a Dota game so I slacked around till it was time to go pick up my mom. I wanted to top up the petrol but didn't do so as my dad didn't pass me the discount card. He can do it tomorrow morning anyway.

After yet another disappointing Dota game where my team-mates were noobs, I had the thought of quitting it and playing a PC game instead like Race Driver:Grid. World of Warcraft? Much too complicated for my liking.

If I open my mouth to ask, my elder sis would definitely buy me a PSP/Nintendo DS/XboX/PS3 with no questions asked. She has offered several times already, but I simply don't want one due to the complicated-ness of the games. What's wrong with me?

After a short nap to recover from the cold I woke up to have dinner and played Dota again. At least this time my team was okay and caused the opposing team to leave instead, not surprising. I do enjoy challenging Dota games whereby I have to outsmart, outlast and outwit (sounds familiar?) the opponents I'm facing.

Totally not in the mood to do project work after the incident on Monday where the effort I spent came to naught when I realised I was doing the wrong one.

Wanna talk about the Forbidden Kingdom which I watched yesterday night (courtesy of the same classmate/groupmate in one of my previous posts). As critics have said, it's just so weird to have an ancient Chinese story.. in English. The conversations wouldn't be weird if they were in Chinese, that's for sure. Then again if the Caucasian protagonist spoke in Chinese it'd be weird too, so I think it'd be much better off with a Chinese protagonist in the first place.

As you may already know, it's the first collaboration between the two major martial art film stars Jacky Chan and Jet Li, it's simply amazing. Other than that, what I notice about the film is the unique blend of English and Chinese filming styles. Most puns in the film worked out well, others didn't. Otherwise I really like the storyline and the De JaVu feeling throughout.

Round and round we go.

2008-07-22T00:35:00.003+08:00

I woke up at 5.45 to drive my mom to work and enjoyed the morning dawn's breeze. After talking to my dad about his China colleague who wanted to buy a DVD player and MP3, I was off to sch. I waited for the bus to Bedok to Eunos instead to avoid the crowd and I ended up missing two double-decker buses to Eunos..

With only my loyal Creative jacket to withstand the reduced temperatures from rain and air-con, I stayed in the lab to start on Visual Basic (VB) assignment and made much progress amidst all the sneezing. 2 (Ameen & Joshua) out of my other 5 group members are doing the admin functions for the FYP website and since they're in my VB group, I'm concentrating on VB as I'm done with my product display anyway.

After noon, I was relieved to reach home with supplies of tissue paper and a warmer environment and spent the rest of the day working on VB. The bad news came near evening after I happily showed Ameen what I had done for VB. We in Diploma in Business in IT (DBIT) can take VB as an elective module in year 3 while those in Diploma in IT (DIT) take as a year 1 module. I realised.. I was doing the DIT year 1 assignment all along! And I was already about 60% done.. I had made the grave mistake as we have always referred to the DIT year 1 folder for module documents and didn't take note that the only time we'd refer back to our DBIT year 3 elective folder.. would be this time.

After all the mental swearing and cursing I read through the DBIT year 3 elective one, it's actually just as difficult. Was pretty much discouraged and having a mental block already so I spent the rest of the night from 7.30pm+ to 12.30pm+ trying to get the basic display out, something which I think should have taken less than an hour with my standard and the amount of time I had already spent doing the DIT year 1 one.

Perfect Timing.

2008-07-20T21:05:00.003+08:00

There I was feeling satisfied for having washed the Dong Fong, changed the fish tank's water and bathed Lily and wanted to start on the Visual Basic project. However, the Visual Studio 2005 Express Edition trial was over and I had to fill up a form to register it. My smartness ended up getting the better of me and I went to download a crack from what seemed like a good website.

Upon running it my AVG anti-virus had an alert and instantly I knew something was wrong, I did another virus scan and it found a few trojans.. Feeling unsafe and using my smartness (the proper way this time), I continued on to perform online scans using BitDefender and Kaspersky, two of the best and most reputable anti-virus around. The scanning wasn't over yet, I also installed TrojanHunter and SpyBot to further clean the system and removed them after.

The rest of the afternoon was spent scanning and scanning while I played Dota on my laptop. I did think of using System Restore in the middle and I had seen its effectiveness before, but decided against it (again showing my stubbornness) and stuck with scans instead.

What started as a good intention to start on a project made me waste a whole day instead, hopefully the issue has been resolved. Here I am back at square one with Visual Studio running succesfully after registering it, something which I should have done in the first place.

When was the last time you looked at the stars?

2008-07-19T22:31:00.002+08:00

After waking up, slacked a while before going downstairs to try the new minced meat noodle at the unfrequented coffeeshop. I liked it, it's tasty and unique with a piece of abalone, fried fish and seaweed (no idea what it's called in Eng) in the soup. It was only after I was near finishing that I noticed that it has a GreenBook certificate and the original shop from which it got the franchise from was featured in the newspaper article before.

Hoping that the traffic won't be too heavy, I went on to pick up my mom from work. The journey back was smoother as I took the route which goes past Eunos Interchange instead of the usual PIE. In the car, my mom told me that my 2nd sis had borrowed more money from her recently, bringing the total up to S$3,300. I'm already angry that all these years sis doesn't give mom a monthly allowance and now this? Then I was told that out of sis and her husband's combined income of approximately S$4,000, she's only repaying S$50 every month. What the hell?

That aside, after two games of Dota I took an afternoon nap from 3 to 6 in order to recover from the cold. After waking up and dinner, played another game of Dota before finally starting on the E-Services Planning report. I took my time in writing it while talking to a friend on msn (are you reading this? =P) and now I'm still waiting for my groupmate to accept it.

The weather has pawned Wei Ket.

2008-07-18T22:25:00.003+08:00

I felt extremely tired when I woke up for some reason. Now I know what it is, I was on the verge of falling sick and I did catch a cold soon after. I didn't get any project work done at all, only skimmed through the Visual Basic assignment. Instead I updated my soft-copy contact list with my phone contacts. Although I don't keep in contact with most of them, it's good to know that I still have updated numbers of even my primary school mates. A few people I know have lost their phone and thus lost all their contacts before, ain't gonna happen to me.

Following I went to take screenshots of my many characters in AruaRose. There were brief reminiscences of happy and unhappy moments I had in the game. Wanted to take of my CabalSEA character too but the updater wasn't working. After which I uninstalled both of them and Maple as well. Ironic, I wanna spend less time gaming but more time on Dota with my new mouse.

Throughout the day I've been sneezing and I refused to see a doctor for a stubborn reason - that I can recover by myself. I did go downstairs and buy a pack of panadol for cold near evening, gonna pop another before sleep. Must be my own stupidity that I'm not anywhere near getting better, I had worn a sleeveless shirt throughout the day..

Angels and Demons

2008-07-17T21:51:00.005+08:00

My small love for novels started with Nicholas Sparks, which was around sec 1 or 2. When I went for the 18th National Lasallian Leadership Camp in Ipoh, Malaysia I brought two along with me to read. I ended up coming back with one and my collection will always be missing the one which I gave to her as a birthday present there. Do I hope that she still has it? The answer is yes.

She was the same reason why I started reading Dan Brown's novels, beginning with the famous Da Vinci Code.. which she was reading before the camp. She's studying medicine now, hope she'll take care and do well.

I then got to know about Sidney Sheldon from my sis who had one of his books. Over time I bought more of these three authors' novels and tried to improve my English in the process of reading.

On Monday night I had a sudden thought of reading Angels and Demons by Dan Brown again as the movie was coming out soon, it'd be better usage of time than closing my eyes and half-sleeping on the one-hour long journeys to poly. I don't remember the content after so long, so it has been like reading it for the first time and I'm close to finishing it already.

I admire authors like these three (and people who write other stuff like magazines, guide books, textbooks) as there has to be much talent, inspiration and dedication. Imagine the process of writing - going through mental blocks etc. and then finally achieving the end result - a complete novel. The sense of satisfaction must be overwhelming, although it is actually a job to most.

---

After yesterday night's post I got around to changing the blog template. This current one instantly caught my eyes and ended the search quickly. I like the refreshing 'mush' blue, the creative banner and dark simple design. Credits of this one I'm using can of cuz be found at the bottom. After removing the ads and rearranging the widgets, I was done and here it is.

I was thinking, blog/livejournal/wordpress and their widgets are another sign of how the internet has improved. Here's a fact, streaming of music and videos make up most of the internet's bandwidth today, I think up to about 75%, if I remember correctly.

---

I had been using the Microsoft mouse which my sis bought for a long time (up to 2-3 years).. until today. It's actually quite an uncomfortable and unsuitable mouse for me but I kept using it anyway as I can be quite content with what I have. In another sense, I simply didn't want to spend the money, although my sis would definitely have bought one if I asked. In fact I don't usually like to spend money other than on ordinary meals, my family know best.

Razer.. it is the brand of high-quality and gaming mice (plural of mouse). I knew about them long ago and drooled often at Razer mice which appeared in photos where people showed their computer setup.

So after reading through a mice review at ESreality using benchmarking (too complicated to explain), I was convinced the Razer Krait is value for money. In simpler terms it showed that with the Krait (as with other quality mice), control of it would never be lost as you would never move it fast enough to do so - 1.78meters/second. The main thing is the technical specifications which were extremely appealing.

After a short Visual Basic lesson I went to Challenger in EastPoint at Simei to get it. When I was browsing for locations of Challenger earlier, my classmate told me that there were member discounts and he gave me his IC number to do so (he'd get member points from the purchase). I ended up paying $45 instead of $55.

I was eager to open and try it upon reaching home. After opening and installing (extra software allowing customisation, although it can work like a normal plug & use mouse), I played a few Dota games to test it out and it has been amazing so far. It is extremely comfortable and suitable (opposite of the old Microsoft one) and my control has much improved. More than worth the money. Pic below taken with 2megapixel handphone, background is my blue mousepad:-

Work hard, play hard(er).

2008-07-16T21:08:00.002+08:00

Yesterday when I was in class for FyP "discussion" (we ended up playing Frozen Throne), I felt my handphone's sms vibration, didn't think it was anything important as my friends (do I have any?) barely sms me. Even if it was important I think I'd be getting a call instead.

I only checked my phone when walking down Sch of Business to the MRT and realised that the sms said the Sch of Media & IT office had my 1gb thumbdrive (which I bought for $10 at Sim Lim) whom someone found and returned. I walked back up and retrieved it and thought of how they knew it belonged to me. I had left it in the Visual Basic lab and totally forgot. It's okay even if I lost it, it only contains a backup of sch files and the work done for that day.

Soon after I was reminded of how I myself had kept someone's 512mb thumbdrive last year when I found it, I've lost it now and have no idea where it is. At that time, I'd say I was under peer influence (not pressure) as my new classmates of year 2 also kept some thumbdrives and external harddisks they found. That reason is an excuse I guess, as it was obviously against the morals I set. I left this thumbdrive in a lab before also and claimed it back from a lecturer who a student had gave it to.

I had also misplaced my 512mb Creative mp3-thumbdrive twice in poly year 1. One time I called a St Pat's mate who's in the same course as me to retrieve it when I realised on the MRT. He's had always been an oddity since St Pat's and people I knew often made fun of him. At least I spent a little effort talking to him now and then, the others usually shunned him. The other time it was left in the lab after the last lesson of the day and I was home by the time I realised. Fortunately it was still there the next day as I went right after the lab opened at 7.40am.

Life has to go on, doesn't it?

2008-07-14T22:41:00.005+08:00

"Life has to go on, doesn't it? Another quote by my good old friend, okay he's only a few years older than me. I knew him from neopets which is like when I was in pri sch, we go back a long way and played several other games together.

Why do I say "another" quote? Previously when I had spent two weeks deciding whether to buy a desktop (mainly for gaming) his wise words ended it all - "just do what you want". It was something I really wanted, and that doesn't happen often. So after much researching on parts I got around to the purchase. I had the most interesting problem after I started the system and took a while to resolve after going around in circles. Just glad that it's running well and hope it'll last a good few years. Feels great to own my own desktop (my sis paid for the monitor only).

Didn't feel a need to go to poly yesterday for FyP "discussion". I'll just keep building up the content of the website alone while two continue on administration and the remaining three slack. I can't be bothered "scolding" the three, the most I'll do is inform our supervisor about their work attitude and the amount of work they've done, and reflect it in peer evaluation. Now I'm waiting for the client to write up the content for the about us page and descriptions for the 336 products.

I know I could run into this kinda situation when I go out to work, but I simply don't feel the need to talk to them. One of them is applying to become a relief teacher. I don't think he'll read this but if he does happen to get to know this is what I wanna say.

Dude, you're a good friend to me outside of projects as we get along well and have common interests like dota, anime and movies. However the group was the 5 of us in the beginning for a reason, it excluded you, the slacker who could remain with the other group which you have been with. Imagine my surprise when someone told me you were joining the group. To me, you wanting to show off your ideas and constant distraction through soccer, gaming and random discussions have thrown us off our track. In my opinion we would be doing a lot better without you.

The fact that you scored 22 out of 100 for the recent E-Services Planning (ESSP) test did not surprise me, as you simply laid your head down to sleep after completing the 20 mark multiple choice questions (MCQ). I don't wanna mention your grade point average (GPA). And now you're applying to become a relief teacher?

I sincerely hope you will pull yourself together.

The price to pay for working hard.

2008-07-13T23:20:00.002+08:00

I finished up the product pages today after resolving a few bugs - Thumbs.db caused miscalculation in number of products and the page generator would generate extra page links.Very happy with the results.

Please ignore this paragraph to skip technicalities. The way it works now is that generateDisplay.jsp and productDisplay.jsp accounts for all the categories. Upon clicking a link the selected category is passed on to generateDisplay.jsp, which retrieves the number of products in that category from the database and forwards the browser to productDisplay.jsp. For example using 27, productDisplay.jsp first displays #1-12 products, with "Page 1 2 3" at the top and bottom which allows the viewer to navigate to products #13-24 and #25-27.

Post titles may or may not have any relation to it's post. In this case it does. After all the mind work I'm suffering from low-self-esteem-after-appearance-of-multiple-pimples.

I've given myself the chance, will you give me the chance too?

2008-07-12T23:25:00.002+08:00

I got *A LOT* of FyP work done today.

1) Sorted through 1214 of the client's product photos and put them into appropriate categories.
2) In the process came up with new categories (weavings, carvings and showcases) and removed categories without products (brass and pottery).
3) Updated index, include pages and template.
4) Sorted through 460 categorised pictures to delete multiple occurrences
5) Used Adobe Bridge to batch rename 348 categorised unique pictures.
6) Used Adobe Photoshop macro to resize and save them.
7) Created and uploaded other product pages.
8) Created MySQL coding and updated database.
9) Uploaded all the pictures.
10) All product pages up and working, limited to 12 product per page.
11) Figured out page generator. Meaning for the surfaces category where there are 62 products, it will display 12 on the first page and have pages 1-6 links at the bottom. Page 2 will lead to products #13 to 23 and so on.
12) Same algorithm can be used to auto generate the category pages. Meaning tables.jsp, surfaces.jsp, chairs.jsp all can be generated by a single products.jsp depending on link clicked.

Felt so good when I sms-ed the client telling him the product pages are up and he can take a look. I'm doing almost all the work.. at least until the other two more capable ones are done with the administration pages.

Procrastination

2008-07-11T22:53:00.003+08:00

Didn't go for the 1 hour project management again. When I woke up I went to post my sis' package immediately without even brushing my teeth as I thought the postman was gonna collect it from the shop at 11am. In the end the haste was uncalled for as the timing is actually 2pm.

Continued a bit of Pokemon Diamond before driving out to pick up my mom from work. Before that I went to Eunos to buy lunch for myself and my dad and there was a slight traffic jam on the way out at the T-junction. If (idiotic) drivers didn't stop in the yellow box then it wouldn't have happened. Illustration below:-

>>>===>>>
<<<===<<<
------^-----
------^-----

= represents yellow box, > and < represent traffic & direction, - represents grass and ^ represents the lane I was in. So there were cars in the === area, leaving those in the ^ lane unable to exit.

Went out again after getting home to buy some daily necessities like toothpaste. After my dad started at his current job we haven't been able to do such shopping at Giant. In fact we might not go out as a family for some time as he needs to sleep in the morning and afternoon when he's not out driving.

Played Pokemon for a few more hours and saved regularly but due to a fatal error they all went to naught. Wasted the rest of the day watching TV and dota-ing instead. It's 10 past 11, gonna sleep a little earlier than usual.

You first have to forgive yourself.

2008-07-10T22:28:00.003+08:00

We were supposed to meet earlier at 7.40 before the gems presentation at 8. As expected none of the other four were punctual. Imagine if I didn't say to meet at 7.40, the latest person might have reached at 8.50 instead of 8.30. The sense of time in these people never fail to amaze me. The presentation went alright I guess, just glad it's over. Not going for it next week as the group which wasn't present will be presenting and I can still afford being absent.

SB's having a bazaar and I was surprised to see my ex-classmate's name on one of the poster. He's selling MacBook laptop sleeves (do tell me if you're interested). I was thinking why he chose to sell them. The number of Mac users is small, the number of those who don't already have a laptop sleeve is even smaller. When we were still classmates, he called me at night and I thought it was for dota. In fact, he was selling this new brand of toothpaste. So I thought okay.. just a few dollars more than ordinary ones at most, why not? I still remember the real price until now.. $14.

Near the end of the day, I was feeling upset over two pimples which I felt with my hand when I touched my face randomly. Visual basic was soon over after the lecturer laid out the skeleton of how to do the assignment for us. Upon reaching Dover MRT there was this sudden thought - you first have to forgive yourself.

How true it was..

Another quote I thought up - "They haven't been my ideal family, but they are a good family."

Morals and Principles.

2008-07-09T21:39:00.002+08:00

Weird, no wireless internet connection on desktop after restart from Windows update. Either that or the USB wireless adapter is acting up again.

Grade A for Visual Basic (VBAS) elective. Grade A for E-Services Planning (ESSP). As usual my "strategy" is effective - pay attention in class and write notes.

Spent the past three days completing Pokemon Pearl on computer after seeing my classmate play. I tried searching for them early this year but couldn't find working ones until now. I only read the walkthrough when I got stuck and didn't know where to go next. Wouldn't be fun if I read it beforehand, it's the anticipation of what's next that's appealing and "exciting".

The FyP client called me to ask why his website appeared in Google but not in Yahoo. So I explained to him that Google searches and adds new websites to it's database (am I correct?) while new websites would have to be submitted to Yahoo to be listed.

It was a gentle reminder that I had so much work ahead.

What do you believe in?

2008-07-07T08:22:00.002+08:00

Intentionally woke up an hour earlier than usual to straighten out my thoughts. Wore my jacket along as I didn't want my cold to get worse, and it was gonna be cold in the comp lab. Got a seat in the MRT for once, the number of times I have sat in the journey to sch is countable with one hand.

So I was thinking, what is stress? What is it caused by? How can I manage it? My conclusion is that to me, there is stress which can and cannot be controlled. Thus I shall try and control the controllable stress. Of cuz I'm not gonna let the other run rampant, it shall be controlled gradually in the process, I hope.

Reached sch at 7.45am to have half-boiled eggs + kaya bread + coffee breakfast at the air-conditioned food court 4 of SP. Thought a bit more and then headed to where I am, the comp lab. As I expected, it is cold.

My heart skips a beat whenever I see my wallpaper.

2008-07-06T22:28:00.002+08:00

Watched Wanted last night after blogging, it's a good movie.

Woke up at 10+ this morn and watched The Incredible Hulk at the same site. Got around to finishing the gems slides and emailed it to the rest. Went to play dota before continuing on FyP. People like the idiot I played with are the same reason why I've semi-quit it.

Spent a few hours trying to come up with a new template and colour scheme after going through other people's and those at template websites, didn't work out too well. Only a few minor changes to make it look more professional. Honestly, the current look is so newbie I could've "designed" it when I was in primary 4, the same year I made my digimon website. Fortunately I found the files a while ago after thinking it was lost forever.

Was thinking of buying PC games like Race Driver Grid cuz now that I've "completed" Maple Story, other than dota and movies I don't have much to do. Half of me tells me to stop running away from reality, however the other half has always managed to convince me to remain in the comfort zone.

Must be the stress which have caused me to catch a cold and have more pimples. The cold may be a blessing in disguise after all, I'm going to sleep the earliest I have had in more than a month right after this.

2008-07-05T21:53:00.002+08:00

Didn't go for the 1 hour project management lesson yesterday after all, woke up on time but continued sleeping.

Finished watching the remaining Death Note: L Change The World and Final Fantasy VII Advent Children on Anijunkie. FF VII Advent Children's animation is simply amazing.

After picking up my mom from work, I alternated between work and play. Work-wise I went through about 250 of the client's products and sorted them into the categories, used macro to resize and rename them, created the sql codes after installing MySQL Server and uploaded half of them, also did 1/3 of my gems presentation slides. Nothing much for play, only remember watching Death Note 1.

Nothing much today, played dota and kept myself busy watching Death Note 2. Got another 1/3 of the slides done, gonna finish up on that and FyP tomorrow. Second sis bought two shirts for me, a little too fitting but yea, thanks.

The fun never ends.

2008-07-03T22:36:00.003+08:00

Ran into my fyp supervisor before going to class today and spoke to him about our progress and attitude. Hopefully next week he'll wake all the rest up. Anyway I sent an email to the rest containing a to-do list for the remaining week. If they don't do their job well (including me actually), we'll have to answer to the supervisor.. for once.

Just about done with maple story after finishing equipment for my dragon knight and training almost to level 130. Took screenshots of my equipment and noted down my assets before closing.

Watched 3/4 of the Death Note 3 I was loading, this shall be the next thing I will do to kill time - watch movies online.

Going for the 1 hr project management lesson tomorrow, then heading to play pool at Clementi.. alone.

2008-07-03T00:04:00.002+08:00

There are a lot of personal things which I do not want to write on this blog. They'll be kept hidden in a password-"protected" word document (which can be cracked easily upon getting hold of it).

Anyway, after e-services planning lesson I went down to the client's shop to copy some photo files for website display, gonna have a fun time sieving through 1200+ of them for better ones. Couldn't help but take a look at what seemed to be photos of her three daughters, as they were in the middle of furniture ones. I left once I was done and wanted to eat the prawn mee beside the shop but as expected there was a long queue as it was still lunch hour - 1.30pm. Next time I'll be there at off-peak hour to try it, but for today bought fried carrot cake (one of my fav) at Bedok instead, for my parents as well.

Pretty much spent the rest of the day training my dragon knight from level 60 to 114 and scrolling remaining equipments, very happy with the results.

I did get some work done, I settled the dimensions and file size for pictures on the website, figured out how to use macro in photoshop to resize, save & close and batch rename files (speed further similar work up), uploaded a few to test browsing speed and updated the database. It seems that the web host was extremely laggy for a short while, will have to monitor it. Also made a silly error of trying to enter more characters than the set size and thinking what it meant by truncated. In simpler terms I entered 31 characters when the field size was 30 and didn't know the problem until a good while later..

Family.. was thinking if things break up where will I run to. My primary school classmate's house, borrow a secondary school classroom? Or will I start doing something to repair things now? Was about to type "is this even possible?" but I realise that it's an excuse..

Let's get it started.

2008-07-02T00:02:00.003+08:00

Weird, I woke up with the feeling of gritted teeth even though my mouth guard was on.

Off to sch for elective lesson, then watched as my final year project (fyp) group members constantly become distracted and lose focus from the work on hand. I kept quiet throughout the 2 hours of "discussion", couldn't be bothered. Their attitude is..

I'll just work on the product display and catalog so that at least I have something to update the supervisor and client. Feel so bad to the client for "our" progress at the moment.

Followed Dad to wash the vehicles, he drove his lorry and I drove the Dong Fong. So cool to drive behind him for the first time. It ended up drizzling soon after I was done with mine..

Went to buy dinner, got home and started working on the website display. Now that the algorithm and connection are correct, it should be easier.

Tears which will not flow.

2008-06-29T22:07:00.003+08:00

Finished watching 26 episodes of Sousei no Aquarion. Other than the fact that some parts seem missing, it's awesome for the level of animation. I enjoyed it thoroughly.

Now listening to it's opening song of the same title by Akino. Can be found at this link.

One statement in the anime struck me.. how long are you gonna keep running away? How long am I gonna keep running away?

2008-06-29T01:41:00.002+08:00

Woke up near 12, ate 'chee cheong fun' and went to pick up my mom from work. Once home trained hermit to lvl 130+ thanks to a kind bishop and party. Trained bishop a little and then went merchanting. Reached goal of 100+ 60% glove for att scrolls (150mil x 100 = 15billion worth).

Played dota and won. Got around to changing my bedsheets and washing the fan. Near evening alternated between maple and TV after dinner. Found websites to download and watch an interesting anime called "Sousei no Aquarion", watched 3 episodes and played dota again, won them.

The end of another boring day.

2008-06-28T00:50:00.003+08:00

I went for a jog for the first time in a long time this morning. Felt extremely giddy and as if the brain had a lack of oxygen after getting home so I wiped myself dry and slept. May have been caused by an empty stomach and little water intake beforehand, I'll find out the next time I go.

I do want to pass my napfa and avoid the additional months in ns if I were to fail. The napfa test will be in Nov.

Either my heart or the true lack of stamina is the issue now. The doctor whom I've been seeing every half-yearly since I was 12 said I'm physically fit for exercise and I shall take his word for it, so I'll assume it's the latter - true lack of stamina.

The giddiness was so bad I thought I was gonna faint and never wake up. Then I thought about all the things I haven't done yet..

---

*Maple Story ahead*
My imba/godlike equipment for both bishop and hermit are complete, feels great after all the effort that has been put in. There's nothing much to do left, I might stop upon training hermit to lvl 120 for night lord or continue training either/both characters to 200. Or I can go back to dota..

How imba/godlike is my equipment?

Tirael (Bishop)
- Purple Gaia Cape (+4), Int 8, Ma 6, self-scrolled, 4 60% out of 5
- Gold Emerald Earrings (+2), Dex 2, Int 11, Ma 10, bought, 2 10% out of 5
- Red Oriental Fury Coat (+7), Int 21, Luk 3, self-scrolled, 7 60% out of 10
- Blue Marine (+5), Ma 129, Int 11, bought, 3 10% & 2 60% out of 7

Rekcah (Night Lord-to-be)
- Pink Gaia Cape (+5), Dex 10, Wa 3, bought, 5 60% out of 5
- Red Katina (+8), Luk 24, Dex 4, self-scrolled, 8 60% out of 10
- Brown Work Glove (+7), Wa 14, self-scrolled, 7 60^ out of 7
- Red Craven (+5), Wa 62, Luk 8, bought, 2 10% & 3 60% out of 7

After writing these down I realise I self-scrolled 4 out of 8 of my equipment. Back in MapleSEA I was just an average player, but in this private server I'm one of the best and richest, it feels good.

2008-06-26T00:52:00.002+08:00

It's 1am, I gotta wake up at 6 for class. Nice eh? There's a song by Foo Fighters called Long Road to Ruin, I think that applies so much to me now.

2008-06-25T01:10:00.002+08:00

Well.. mid semester tests on Thurs and Fri and I haven't studied for them yet. Both require memorising.

Dad wanted to check the price of Perodua Kenari, it's at 38K for auto now and the new Viva is 44K for auto. I doubt we can swap the current Dong Fong for either now as:-
1) The cash rebate we received earlier for taking up the higher interest loan has to be returned. It's like 6.4K cash.
2) The monthly installment will increase.

On the other hand, the road tax, insurance, fuel consumption would decrease. Most importantly I get my dream (as of now) vehicle.

I guess now I have accepted the fact that I'll be driving Dong Fong until I get out of ns. By then I can choose my own and pay for it. I told him I'll see whether I will drive it to school on some days after the tests.

I thought I hated my dad for choosing Dong Fong over Kenari (when it was OBVIOUSLY, I emphasise OBVIOUSLY) what I wanted. After hearing stories of (and being moved by) how people have separated from their families due to disagreements and how sad they were on the same Taiwan talk show I mentioned before, I let it go. The relationship between these two is that my dad is my dad after all, and he could be doing worse things like said in the show.

I guess I've become so numb from the stress I've received since I was born that I don't feel it when I'm awake. I only feel and exert it when I'm asleep in the form of bruxism. Please do a search on bruxism if you're interested. Google link.

---

-WARNING. Boring part ahead about maple story. Please do not read if you're not interested and/or do not know about maple story as it would barely make sense.-
(mainly for myself to recap how it's been there so far)

Been spending (ok ok wasting) time playing the maple story private server (150x exp rate). Started last Wed and trained a sniper from 1 to 100+ by Sat. Next thing I know they rolled-back the server to 16 June.. where my account didn't even exist!

Fortunately they raised the exp, meso and drop rates to make up for it, the exp rate became 1500x. And I trained another sniper to 140+, a hero to 130+ and priest to 100+. Yesterday night they set the exp rate back to 150x, too bad my priest wasn't 120 yet for 4th job and genesis skill.

Soon after, I was ecstatic when I scrolled a weapon att 14 brown work glove, meaning 7 out of 7 60% scrolls passed. Screenshot here. I had made a lot of money whilst training during the increased rates. Before that I also scrolled a wa 8 bwg, which I sold later.

After scrolling this godlike glove I decided to make an assassin. After which I found out an amazing spot to farm 60% glove att scrolls (gfa) from a seller and I've been there all day. I estimate that I've gotten more than 60 of them so far and each is priced at 400m each.

Following, I bought a godlike 10 dex 3 wa pink gaia cape at 3.6bil (which is like 8 gfa only), a 0 slot wa 58 luk 6 red craven at 2.5b (later sold at 1.8b cuz I bought a clean wa 50 craven), traded 4 gfa for 4 ilbis and more.

Scrolling-wise I passed 4 out of 7 60% 2h sword att scrolls on my hero's lvl 100 sword (which I traded 1 gfa for and then realised att speed is slow), then after burning over 30 10% staff att scrolls on lvl 100 staff for my priest I got a 1st slot pass and then passed 3 out of 6 60% staff att on the remaining slots.

Gonna stock up on 60% overall luk scrolls for my assassin as I see them now, I've got all the money in the world to spend now from farming the secret spot anyway. Once I train my priest to bishop I'll decide what to do.. either start an assasin with my godlike equipments, train sniper to 200 or hunt with bishop.

-NOTE. Boring part has ended here.-

2008-06-22T01:18:00.002+08:00

Stunned in front of the computer before deciding on what to write..

So I was driving my mom home from work and saw 4 ns vehicles travelling at about 40-50km/hr on the expressway in a row. I was thinking that I'd be (stunned here again thinking of how to phrase it) considered lucky to get something like this when it's my turn.

This led me to think about camps. Camps were something I enjoyed very much in secondary school, let's see my camp experience from joining as a regular Peer Leader in Sec 2 to becoming Head in Sec 4:-
Sec 1 - Participant in Sec 1 Orientation Camp
Sec 2 - Participant in Peer Leaders Training Camp (PLTC), Organising Commitee (OC) for Sec 1 Orientation Camp
Sec 3 - Participant in Lasallian Leadership Training Camp (LLTC), Participant in National Lasallian Leadership Camp (NLLC), OC for Sec 1 Orientation, OC for PLTC
Sec 4- Overseer in PLTC, Overseer in Sec 1 Orientation Camp, Facilitator in LLTC

The feeling of mental and physical exhaustion gave the sense of achievement, something which I have not felt for some time. After all, I feel that I was good as an OC.

It was awesome working with fellow peer leaders to make things successful. Camps were the only time where attendance was highest. As much as they did not pay attention or contribute during regular meetings, their attitude during camps were much different. I can't describe how they were (am at a loss for words), you would have had to be there to understand. There was brotherhood during cheers and songs, although there was competition during games.

Not forgetting the prefects, CCA leaders and counsellors who were a part of it too, thank you all for the experience I have had, whether as a participant or OC.

2008-06-21T01:48:00.002+08:00

Played dota two or three days ago on my good old laptop again (no lag and won that game). One word to describe the feeling.. nostalgic. I bought this laptop in sec 4, Apr 2005. It works fine until now, in fact I'm using it to blog now and I play maple private server on it while watching tv at night. I reformatted it shortly before I bought my desktop. To think I've played so much maple, dota, cabal etc. and done so much work using this laptop.

I remember the time I spilled herbal tea over the keyboard, it was a bottle placed between me and the laptop. Once it happened, I quickly unplugged everything, overturned it and shook it for liquid to come out. Yea there was the feeling of panic as I would have definitely got scolded. Then I used a hair dryer to blow dry it. There were two problems with it following the incident. Half of the screen was slightly a darker shade, it was so unnoticeable that it was my sis who saw it. The other problem was that the shift key stopped working.

Fortunately, it was a few days before the warranty expired (so this occurred nearly a year after it was bought) and they fixed it. Ever since it has been one of my best friends haha..

For all laptops there's a small trigger above the keyboard to turn off the monitor upon sensing that the screen is closed? There was this other incident that there was no display on the screen upon reaching sch while the harddisk and startup sound could be heard. I was like "okay you're leaving already?" So I used the sch comp to get Dell's number and called them. After some troubleshooting we figured out that it was the trigger causing it as it was bent. Oh no.. it's out of warranty!

No.. wait.. the part between the keyboard and screen (where the power button, status lights and key lock lights are) could be taken out! So I did it and ta-da.. the screen was back!

2008-06-20T01:15:00.002+08:00

I actually learnt something from my dad today. He was talking about how he saw that the gloves of a staff from China cleaning the restaurant had broken and he went to buy a pair for her. It's just a few dollars after all.

This could have made her day as she's new in Singapore and might not know where to buy the gloves yet. She may also be doing other odd jobs to make more money and simply not have enough time to go buy a new pair.

2008-06-18T23:52:00.003+08:00

Once again I didn't get any studying or project work done. Woke up at 12pm+ and an old friend from CabalSEA wanted to pvp me. So I logged in and won all 3 duels, noticing that some of my guildmates were still training and a much higher level. Then played dota till 3 and stopped cuz if another game lasted the usual one hour I would have to leave to go to the dentist.

It was drizzling but I drove there anyway. I was early and the rain had stopped so I wiped the car dry before going in. The mouth guard for use during sleep still wasn't optimal, so what the dentist did was manually make a slight dent. At that moment I knew I shouldn't have spent $450 to make it, and instead focus on resolving the main reason why I have bruxism. Stress.. more specifically accumulated from my family issues.

Got home at 5.30 and went to buy dinner. I paid for mine and sis' Macdonalds, using the $50 dad gave to pay for his share only. Continued playing dota till late 8pm and watched tv till now.

Installed MapleStory private server (NetoverLordsMS) on laptop and trained a bowman to hunter. As my classmate said, everything is fine except that picking up of items take 1-2 secs to happen. No idea whether I'll go far, just wanted to cuz I was bored and kinda tired of noobs and leavers in dota.

If only I would do other things like I play games..

End of another ordinary day.

2008-06-17T23:17:00.002+08:00

Forwarding up on my previous post regarding my maple mei, I talked to her on msn and she was like "huh?". So I asked her whether someone else had used her phone and she said yea, then she left for supper. So I waited and she went offline without a word. This morn I woke up and saw her sms saying that it was her friend who did it. So I replied to confirm and it ended up with a "whatever" again.

I wash my hands off her.

2008-06-16T22:20:00.004+08:00

Well I'm not gonna "advertise" this blog link in my msn again, so if you know me and happen to be reading this blog, thank you. To the rest, thank you for reading as well.

The main reason why I'm blogging again (dunno how long it'll last) is cuz they were saying on a Taiwan talk show that writing journals (or blogging) is a good way of relieving stress (yea while listening to emo music especially).

My previous post was written cuz I was about to blow up, the posts before that were written a long time ago.

So here I am, on to the blog post for today.

After my project meeting I was going to buy a box of donuts for my maple mei as a belated birthday present as decided the night before. Perhaps it was the way I spoke when I called her to confirm the venue and time which led her to think that I was.. obsessed with her. She's 5 years younger than me. I hereby declare that I did and do NOT have other intentions, it was as simple as a belated birthday present.

I did explain myself through sms, saying that "I only thought this would make you happy, nothing else, guess my actions have resulted in the way you think now instead". Guess it didn't work out, and the friendship has ended today.

As of time of this post, hit counter is at 3239. Let's see whether it jumps..

2008-05-02T18:21:00.002+08:00

Reasons why my dad chose Dong Fong:-
- Total seating capacity of 8, including driver
- Back row of seats can be folded down to make space
- Supposedly fuel-saving
- Company was offering 15K for the old one
- New vehicle which next to no people have

Reasons why I 'chose' Dong Fong:-
- None

I'm having a mild migraine over this issue. Changing the vehicle so that I have something to drive was just an excuse for him to achieve his above reasons.

I wanted a small auto gear vehicle which can fit all four of us when we go out and for cruising to school. More specifically, I wanted a Perodua Kenari or Kelisa. There was a $5K discount for the Perodua when we were painting the childcare centre which my mom works at, bringing down the price to about $34K. And why did he reject it? Cuz they only offered $13.5K for his previous Kia instead of $15K which Dong Fong offered.

He asked me whether I wanted the Dong Fong. I told him he knew well enough what I wanted. In the end which part of the decision to purchase this Dong Fong really considered me inside?

I know that he expects me to drive to school. How am I supposed to do so if it is so freaking difficult to drive it? Yes, I fear slopes, cuz there cannot be any mistake in controlling the clutch. If there is, it will either roll backwards or stall. Yes, I hate driving it, cuz moving off from a stationary position is so freaking slow. With the P-plate, practically everyone behind me overtakes me.

I know that if I drive to school, he expects me to work on weekends to pay for the fuel. In the first place, I'm not gonna drive to school. I know that he expects me to wash it every weekend. It's such a chore cuz it's not something which I wanted to begin with.

So in two months we can sell it for another one. How? God knows how much it's value has dropped. Will any company even take it? Even if we succeed, the monthly installment will only increase further.

I thought of holding it until I finished NS and found a job in three to four years, so that at that time I can make and pay for the decision. God knows how much it's value would have dropped by then.

I would like to re-emphasise this. Changing the vehicle so that I have something to drive was just an excuse for him to achieve his above reasons.

2006-10-12T22:57:00.000+08:00

I saw my nursery or kindergarden teacher today, I still recognised her even though it's almost a decade already.. Looking back, those were the years when we didn't have much cares or worries.. unlike now..

2006-10-09T21:16:00.000+08:00

Saw a CJC 1st 2 months classmate on the MRT.. but I didn't go over to say hi.. dunno whether she saw me or not. CJ life wasn't good, the week after 'o' level results were released I handed in the withdrawl form. I didn't click with anyone there at all anyway..

I'm so glad I didn't stay in CJC.. poly is so much better cause of the hands-on and less mugging..

listening to - saving jane & the wreckers

2006-10-04T19:45:00.000+08:00

Went to KFC with the class to have lunch after 3 hours of Maths.. I ended up not eating cause I been buring a lot on pool and didn't want to spend that much on a meal..

Then we went to Clementi to play pool.. it was great.. I did some nice shots like bank, reverse bank and long ones. At least now I can put up a good game against Ian and Naidi and give them a run for their money.. last time there was no fight at all haha.. I love pool.. I love the feeling of successfully hitting balls into the pockets.. especially if they're difficult shots.. Mm.. another $5 gone.. XD

Walking to Clementi MRT, I saw someone in clutches selling tissue and gave her $2.. she insisted on giving me 4 but I told her I have a lot at home and took one only. Then at Eunos MRT I saw another person sitting in a wheelchair singing at the top of her voice selling tissue.. I walked off to catch my bus but turned around again and gave her the rest of my coins for another packet of tissue. I felt bad and guilty.. for spending money on pool and not being able to give her more instead..

2006-09-25T17:27:00.000+08:00

5 weeks of holidays are over *sigh* and classes start again with brand new modules..

Teachers are okay but my attention span was very short today.. probably cause I didn't sleep well last night..

No mood..

2006-08-27T20:28:00.000+08:00

You scored as Eyes full of Pain. People tend to overlook you, which makes you feel less worthy of their attentions. You sometimes wish you could just disappear from the world around you. You have been hurt very badly in the past and you just wish that someone would understand you, and what their cruelty is doing to you.

(http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=144273)

2006-08-25T23:14:00.000+08:00

Goo Goo Dolls - Iris..

---

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
and sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

CHORUS
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive

CHORUS

CHORUS

CHORUS

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

2006-07-23T20:51:00.000+08:00

Just downloaded LimeWire to download MP3s.. Love this song..

---

Cheyenne Kimball - Hanging On

I've had a bad day
And nothing ever seems to go my way
I've got a heartache
Don't wanna think about it

And everytime I try to smile, I cry, so
I'll just hide my face
Get out of my way
Don't wanna talk about it

And I'll be fine

I just need some time

[Chorus]
I'm hanging on today
And nothing's gonna stop me, anyway
I'm holding on, I'm strong
I'm the only one who can make it change
I don't wanna cry
Gotta live my life
I'm gonna make it alright
I'm hanging on and nothing's gonna stop me, anyway

I went the wrong way
But I'm not lost, it's a good mistake
I saw the day break
I'm gonna shout about it

Oh, and everytime I turn around
I find that, I'm alone again
I've had a bad day
I'm gonna laugh about it

And I'll be fine I'm gonna be alright

[Chorus]

When I feel lonely
I feel like I'm floating
Nothing is real
I'm above it all
I'm above it
I'm above it all

[Chorus]

I've had a bad day..

2006-07-13T21:05:00.000+08:00

When was the last time you did something you always wanted to do? Simple things.. like gaze up at the stars at night.. sit down and have a good chat with friends over coffee.. or iron your own clothes for once..?

I know I haven't done so for some time..

2006-07-08T20:33:00.000+08:00

Met up with several sec sch classmates to play DotA at Katong earlier. Thought I could put up a good fight against them.. well I thought wrong.. =X I only started a month ago, gonna take a lot more practice to become better.

2006-07-06T20:58:00.000+08:00

Last Friday I went back to Summerhouse to collect pay from working previously. On my way I saw a couple arguing with each other.. actually it was more like the guy shouting at the girl at the top of his voice after he threw his cap on the floor and then blocking her way whenever she tried to walk away.. The girl probably said something which ticked him off.. but he didn't have to react that way..

Upon reaching, I was talking to one of the restuaurant managers. He needed manpower later that night and asked me whether I wanna work. Surprisingly I agreed.. why? Cause as long as it's not the usual two whom I used to work with, it's okay.. =P I didn't bring my badge or black shoes.. but I found both in my locker and took them. Wonder if the guy will know? XD

Work that night was okay, at least there were enough bowls, teaspoons, chawamushi cups and porcelain spoons for once.. cause they replenished them. Previously the main reason I quit was cause there was always not enough of them and I kept getting pestered by the chefs when stuff ran out. After which I had to rush to the washing area carrying used ones or manually wash them..

I know I know.. that's part and parcel of working.. but I just don't wanna put myself through all that.. there's no reason to in this point of time..

2006-06-30T22:44:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 7 to answer my mom's usual wake up call, then went back to sleep and skipped cd and wcd classes in the morning cause I didn't feel like getting up nor going to school, didn't miss much anyway. In fact shouldn't have gone in the afternoon either cause nothing much was taught during itos or fom either.. zzz..

I guess it's really time to get busy with projects and revision.. oh well..

2006-06-29T08:21:00.000+08:00

When I see cats around in the void deck, I'd always try and touch them. Cats seem so.. quiet.. tame.. peaceful.. and cute.. =D

If you wanna touch a cat, reach out your hand and look out carefully for its reaction. If its back is arched and/or claws stretched, then it means you should just leave it alone else you'd end up with scratches. My Bio/Chem teacher in sec sch taught me that touching the back part of the neck tends to calm the person/animal down.. so if it doesn't run away try to stroke its neck first. Some cats don't like being stroked at particular areas such at beneath its mouth or stomach so don't let your guard down.

There was one night after work when I went to the playground to sit and listen to some music and there was a cat. I had my legs crossed and after stroking it, it cuddled itself onto my legs.. so I just sat there for an hour enjoying the music and the scenery..

2006-06-17T00:53:00.000+08:00

Almost had a full-blown migraine again.. good thing a nap stopped it.. *phew*

Before I slept I watched half of The Notebook.. I can't think straight right now.. so I'll leave you with the book's synopsis. Yeah I have the book.. =)

'Set amid the austere beauty of the North Carolina coast, The Notebook begins with the story of Noah Calhoun, a rurual Southerner recently returned from the second world war. Noah is restoring a plantation home to its former glory, and he is haunted by images of the beautiful girl he met fourteen years earlier, a girl he loved like no other. Unable to find her, yet unwilling to forget the summer they spent together, Noah is content to live with only memories.. until she unexpectedly returns to his town to see him once again..

Like a puzzle within the puzzle, the story of Noah and Allie is just the beginning. As it unfolds, their tale miraculously becomes something different, with much higher stakes. The result is a deeply moving portrait of love itself, the tender moments and the fundamental changes that affect us all. It is a story of miracles and emotions that will stay with you forever.."

2006-06-15T06:00:00.000+08:00

It's 6am and I just got back from a chalet & BBQ the current peer leaders organised. It was great talking to my juniors again - the people whom I used to work with.. We used to spend days and nights at times organising programmes for lower secondary students and sec 1 orientation & leadership camps together. The small feeling of achievement and satisfaction when everything was over is irreplacable.. cause we could see that we had touched the students' hearts in one way or another.. and cause we did it together.. At first I didn't want to go, but decided to go anyway though I was tired from badminton with my class earlier.. I had to..

Before I came home I had a long chat with the 2004 head of peer leaders.. he made me realise a lot of things and re-emphasised what I should get along to doing.. thanks.. Well.. there's a joint 5-day leadership camp between St Patrick's School and St Joseph's Institution next week.. I'm still considering whether I should go to help out though I've already graduated.. It's a good chance to just walk away from everything for a while and think things through..

2006-05-31T22:48:00.000+08:00

I'm so drained out due to the the funeral procedures these three days.. I wanted to sleep for one and a half hours after I got home from everything but ended up asleep for four hours instead.. zzz.. *burnt out*