The past 2 days were spent playing dota & Facebook's Bejeweled Blitz and browsing online aimlessly. Anything to distract myself, anything to run away from reality.
1 more week and it'll be 2 months. The amount of mental stress and physical strain so far is like nothing I've experienced. So this is why NS turns boys into men.
Been nursing the cough for 5 weeks. Who should I blame? Flu season? Bad weather? My body? NS itself?
Can't take MC, can't be on light duty, as I can't afford to miss out on PDT and swimming, I'd still have to take the tests anyway. In the end only a pass or fail would be recorded, shown, seen.
Come on, even though there won't be make-up lessons, you can ask your squad mates and even practise with them. They know that you're genuinely ill and won't think you 'chao geng'. Yea right.
As I went to the kitchen to refill my cup with water, my mom came out of her room and I told her to sleep early. Her reply made me tear, 'when I hear you coughing I can't sleep'.
She came out again and asked me whether I wanted fried carrot cake for breakfast. I turned my head away from her and strengthened my voice to answer her, 'nop mom'.
Each time I cough, forced by the itchiness in my throat, I worry that I make my mom worry.
How much damage has my body taken since I started coughing? Has my lifespan been decreased by a few years? Has permanent damage been done? Will I recover to the state as if I never had it?
I was never given a choice with this heart condition. My specialist said that I'm fit to go, but is that really the case? What unknown complications lie hidden, lie unknown?
I fear, that I may drop after physical training.
I regret, not having spent more and proper time with family and friends.
I reminisce the past 20 years - studies, family, friends, work, computer, books, music, home. And I am thankful for everything.
Please, let me recover.