I'm bad at communication skills.
When my elder sis and mom got home from praying at Bugis and shopping at Phoon Huat, the latter commented that my dad's face was 'black'. I simply can't understand why he reacts this way every time she goes out. What the f* is wrong with you? It's not like she's gonna have an affair.
Thanks dad, for nothing. You've continuously made my mom upset. You bought a vehicle for me which was an obvious bad choice, and I will have to pay for it when you stop working. In addition, the thought of the possibility that his smoking habit, which he has never been able to quit with the excuse that it's too hard after smoking for so many years, could have caused my heart condition.. makes me never want to talk to him again. Why the f* do dads smoke when their family are around?
My elder sis was packing the baking stuff she bought and I thought, 'great more stuff to put into the kitchen'. Her room itself is a mess, thanks to her baking hobby the kitchen is a mess now too. I don't wanna talk about how she has never bothered to lose weight.
Fine, enough of finding fault with them. Let's find fault with myself. Let's see..
All these late nights since the holiday started have caused panda eyes and my face condition to deteriorate a little. It's a mental war, there's something which stops me from sleeping early and I can't seem to stop it. I know it sounds unreasonable, but it's like I wanna destroy myself bit by bit.
I used to help my mom with housework when I was young, nowadays even when she wants to ask me something about her hp, which wouldn't take a few minutes, she asks whether I'm free. How have I ended up deterring my own mom from asking me for help?
I used to play RuneScape everyday from sec 2 to 4. It was only in poly that I realised that it was my way of escaping from reality. Until now I still don't communicate with my family at all, I've grown up and solved my problems by myself, I don't need them now.
Yes, I might regret it when they're almost gone or gone (touch wood), but I really can't be bothered. I don't know how to explain why I feel this way either.
I just don't wanna end up having this communication problem when I have my own family, if I do.