When I started work early december last year, I used to wonder what was going on between people who sat around the same table but didn't speak to each other much. Whether they were couples, families or friends, they were like strangers to each other and had their dinners quietly.

Come to think of it, I realise that this occurs to me as well and it has probably been like this throughout my whole life. I don't ever tell my family anything cause my parents read too much into matters and my sisters were never around for me. I doubt the latter will read my blog anyway but if you're reading this sis, don't try to make it up to me.. it's too late..

As for the few real friends I had in secondary school, most of the time I was the one listening to them anyway. I sure miss the times I had with them, especially the times we had playing Pokemon TCG (trading card game) and MagicTheGathering TCG..

I've been feeling sad these two days . I guess it's cause I really feel that my family is just an empty shell now. Like usual my sis works till late every night while there's a age gap between me and parents. I don't ever talk to them, I only reply when they ask questions. The only thing I look forward at home is Lily. Actually I've never missed my family whenever I went for camps.. In fact I was happy cause I could get away from home.

I don't feel like going home everyday cause all I go back to is my laptop..

Other than guitar, I think I'm gonna join Primers as well. It's sort of like a community service club. I've been wanting to do community service but been too occupied with work and gaming. Not only do I earn CCA points, I'll finally get around to doing some community service. Besides, a classmate is joining it too. I wanna make my poly life meaningful.. =)

Our first project is finally taking shape and I feel that we've got good ideas so far. Can't wait to complete it over the weekend. Actually I'm kinda interested in what the other groups have come up with, like their presentation methods and ideas.

One last thing, it feels great to help! Another classmate sent me an sms earlier saying thanks for helping him with html in class. That has made my day.. =)

Last Fri for no reason I forgot the proper directions for opening my locker at work. Fortunately a colleague helped me out and I managed to open it. Then Eng Tai told me he bought a locker in school but he didn't know how to open so I offered to help. This morning I met up with him and taught him how to open it. Fate or coincidence? I'd call it fate that I had trouble with my locker the week before and thus learnt how to open it all over again so that I could help him.. ;)

Everything's still so far so good but of course, there are some aspects I can improve on in order to become a better person. Like paying attention to small details and chat more. Well, we had a diagnostic test during critical reasoning skills and it was about what are worth pursuing in life unlike material items like branded clothes. I wrote that personally, a good character and personality is worth pursuing cause it's something which can only be achieved with mental training and tolerance. It's something that we'd live with for life and remember forever.. and I hope to accomplish it soon.. =)

I met Eng Tai on the MRT ride to Singapore Poly this morning and was glad to hear about his poly life so far. Things weren't good for him in secondary school and I was a little worried about him then. I gave him my contact number when we collected our 'o' level results so that should he run into any trouble, he had someone to turn to.

I'm not trying to glorify myself here but perhaps it's cause I come from a not-so-complete family, that's why I tend to help those who are in need of help. Honestly, I genuinely want to help people in any aspect I can. I don't do it for recognition or reward.. I just don't want them to feel the same way I have felt all my life - helpless and lonely with no one to turn to..

I really hope things will turn out fine in my poly life. I wanna be someone whom people will turn to for help, regardless of whether it's about studies or problems in real life.. Someone whom people will call up or sms just for a chat.. Someone who is treated like a real friend..

So far so good, that's all I can say about poly life so far. At least I didn't begin on the wrong note like I did in CJC, this time round I've made friends with all the guys le and a few of the girls. They're all people whom I can work with, question is are they willing to work with me? =O

Anyway, poly life is so much better than CJC, it's flexible and not rigged. It's not just school hours, it's also how lectures and tutorials are conducted. It's difficult to explain these out in words but those who went for 1st 3 months at JC and are at a poly now will know what I mean. =D

First project received under intro to e-business - to decide whether the online or conventional method is better for purchase of a particular item or service. My group chose cars and we did a reasonable amount of brainstorming today. Hopefully after another 1 or 2 meetings and we'll be over and done with it. *phew* =)

I'm very much looking forward to the lessons ahead cause they're all interesting, especially web client development.. =)