Should I continue working on weekends or stop? If I do, I'll be tired for school. On the other hand, I miss working with some people whom I've enjoyed working with. My family's not hard up, but I don't think I can survive with 100 dollars a month when I have to pay for concession pass and perhaps for miscellaneous stuff like class fund here and there. It leaves about 60-70 for me, 2+ a day?

At least even if I work Saturdays only, I'll earn $252 a month. Not on Sundays cause there's school on Monday. Then again, what if friends go to catch a movie or cycling on Saturday? Ahhh..

I don't know if I'll ever blend in with my class. For some reason I feel left out all over again. Am I meant to live my life alone? As a loner? What have I done wrong for me to deserve this? Why can't I be like the rest? The guys in my class are even talking to the girls already whilst I'm left out..

Shan, my god-sister was at our house earlier and she told me to conduct myself carefully. I told her I corrected our class rules when it was done and she replied that they might have found it arrogant. She also told me to be a follower, not someone who stands out at the moment. The thing is, I've been walking in front of my group while walking to different game stations today..

It's conflicting and ironic. On one hand I couldn't not say anything about the class rules cause it was written quite badly and I couldn't talk to anyone in my class so I walked in front. On the other hand my classmates might have the impression that I'm arrogant.

I went up to suggest two ideas for house skit and now I'm afraid I might have conducted myself badly. My voice was already sore from shouting cheers and then I had to shout out my suggestions to my house. Sigh..

The majority of me wanted to do those stuff just for the basic reason like to correct the class rules and suggest my idea. However, it's true that a little part of me does want the attention. I guess this would have resulted from a lack of proper home environment. Yes my family does care about me as they do worry about whether I've ate, got enough pocket money or done my homework. But it just ends there, I've never told them what goes on in school and what's going on in my life.

If not for the wake-up call during the Ipoh leadership convention two years ago, my majority and minority parts would switch roles, meaning I would be a very inconsiderate and unintentionally arrogant person right now.

I wanna change my life around. I want there to be times when friends will appear out of nowhere and talk to me. I want phone calls where friends will just call for a chat. I wanna be asked out to hang out in town or to catch a movie.
I don't wanna be someone who is thought as arrogant cause I've had enough of that in secondary school..

I guess from now on I have to be really careful about how I conduct myself, especially on Monday cause we're going dragon boating and having a race around Kallang area. I just hope I still have the chance to be a good guy, instead of an unintentional arrogant bad guy.