I wanted to write this some time ago, but didn't cause I didn't want my sis to read it. I don't care now, I need an outlet for my frustration and loneliness.

I feel really lonely cause I don't ever talk to my family about what's going on in my life. It's always the same thing - "had dinner yet?", "done your homework?", "revising?" etc.. True, I told them about my joining Patrician Idol, but they don't know what's really hidden inside me.

If I get emotional enough about it, I could break into tears right now, I did several times before after all..

If I was granted one single wish, I would wish for a girlfriend. I need someone whom I can pour out my feelings and emotions to, someone who, I can have a heartfelt talk with, someone who will love me and allow me to love.

My family? What they shower on me is only concern, not love, not to me. I would never be able to open up to my family, the doors were never opened in the first place, get what I mean?